


let the whole world melt away

by kontraklarinette



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Falling In Love, First Meeting, Fluff, Healing, Not Beta Read, Steven Universe: The Movie Spoilers, Trauma, background bellow pearl - Freeform, eventual angst, it’s gonna get gay, spinearl, spinearl centric, the first multi chapter spinearl fic on ao3 woohoo!!, the spinearl fic ™️
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2020-10-14 23:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kontraklarinette/pseuds/kontraklarinette
Summary: Spinel arrives on Homeworld and is reunited with some of her old friends, as well as a gem she doesn’t know and certainly doesn’t expect to fall in love with.This story has been discontinued due to the premiere of SUF not giving me enough time  to finish.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> im making spinearl history I hope 🥵🥵
> 
> title is from “dance with you” from the musical the prom

The large white bubble slipped smoothly through the wall of the ship, forcing Spinel to brace for an impact that never came. The Diamonds watched on stoically, speaking only when the bubble touched the ground and evaporated around them.

“We’re here!” Yellow Diamond announced. Spinel shivered despite the warm air.  _ Homeworld. _ She hadn’t seen her home planet in over six thousand years. 

“It might look a little different than how you remember it,” Yellow went on. “We’ve done a bit of renovation since you were last here, but I expect you’ll like it.”

Spinel said nothing. Yellow was right that it was different- it was hardly recognizable. 

She and the Diamonds stood under the pink Homeworld sky in a wide square surrounded by large shining crystalline buildings, each stretching many feet into the sky and shining with refracted light. Gems milled around through the square and around the shops on the ground level, greeting each other with a friendliness Spinel had never seen anywhere but on Earth. She saw an excited Peridot peddling tech and inventions to passing Quartzes, while a street musician Kyanite used her acoustikinesis to play upbeat music and entertain passerbys, her eyes lighting up when a Jasper tossed a few bits of gold at her. When some of the Gems glanced up and caught sight of the Diamonds, they smiled and waved. Spinel couldn't help but be startled. What about the salute? What about the  _ fear  _ the presence of the Diamonds always invoked _ ? _ Had so much really changed since she’d been on Homeworld?

“Everyone is so much freer now!” Blue Diamond exclaimed quietly, seemingly to no one in particular. “I thought that changing our ways of ruling and willingly losing so much control would change Homeworld for the worse, but now that everyone is so happy, it makes me happy too. I love watching Gems live their best lives.”

“We still have a lot of work to do,” Yellow interjected. 

“Of course we do, but look how much progress we’ve made!”

“The last two years have been good to us,” White agreed. She nodded to the gems passing through the square. “And to them.”

“It’s like a whole different planet,” Spinel murmured. She turned her head to stare up at the Diamonds with wide eyes. “You did this all for Steven?”

“And Pink,” admitted Blue. “She would have loved this.”

Spinel stared up at the huge Gem.  _ Do I still remind you of her? If I do… I’ll love this place too, I promise. _

“Enough of Pink,” White declared, interrupting Spinel’s stupor and shooting the small pink gem a sympathetic glance. “We must show Spinel her room.”

Excitement rose in Spinel’s chest, and she grinned despite herself. “In the palace?”

Yellow grimaced. “Not… quite. Our construction-”

“-is almost finished, so you’ll have your room soon,” White put in hurriedly. “But maybe telling you that you’d get a palace room was a little premature. We didn’t really expect you to agree to come with us. It has only been two years since we began construction, after all.”

Spinel’s face fell. “So where will I stay?”  _ They can’t just leave me out here to stare at the sky every night… can they? _

Blue smiled down at her, her eyes sparkling. There was real friendliness in that smile, Spinel noted. How rare, and yet, how welcome. 

“You’ll be staying right here.” Blue swept her arm in an arc across the sky and pointed at a small white building tucked away in the corner on the other side of the plaza, a building that Spinel previously hadn’t noticed. The exterior was a gorgeous, shimmering white, rainbows dancing across the glassy surface. A few small windows dotted the face, each accompanied with a small windowbox of blue flowers. It seemed like the last place anyone would expect a gem like Spinel to live in, but Spinel already loved it. 

The smaller Gem gave a small, happy skip. “I love it! It’s so pretty!”

Yellow nodded approvingly. “Then let’s get you settled in.” Spinel grinned, readying herself to sprint across the square and into her new home, but was stopped when Blue Diamond gently placed a hand on the ground between her and the building.

“We’ll let you settle yourself in if you want,” Blue said. “But there’s one thing we should tell you before you go.”

“What’s that?” Spinel responded curiously. There was a beat of silence.

“You’re going to have roommates!” White announced abruptly. Spinel blinked.  _ That wasn’t at all what I was expecting.  _

“You’ll get along with them splendidly,” promised Yellow. “It’ll do you some good to make some friends here, too. Maybe our lack of room in the palace won’t be such a bad thing for you.”

_ Yeah, just like the whole lot of good that came out of my last friendship.  _ But in spite of Spinel’s internal negativity, she could see Yellow’s point. It wouldn’t do her any good to spend her days wallowing around Homeworld with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Besides, everything was different now- she was practically a whole different Gem than she’d been the last time she’d been on Homeworld. It wouldn't hurt to try to make friends.

So Spinel took a deep breath, fixing the Diamonds with a confident stare. “Okay.”

“Off you go, then!” White chided, patting Spinel’s head with one huge finger before Spinel started off. “And don’t forget to visit us sometimes!”

“I will!” Spinel called over her shoulder. She didn’t look back as her feet picked up pace, leading her into a sprint, and eventually having to skillfully dodge a few pedestrian Gems as they passed in front of her. “Sorry!” she called as she accidentally caused an Amethyst to drop a heavy-looking box onto the ground with a thud.

When Spinel reached the door, she skidded to a halt before placing two careful knocks on the large slab of stone. When there was no response, she tried it again. Then again. And then she waited. 

And waited.

After an agonizing thirty seconds, the door slowly opened a crack and a pointy yellow nose poked through the opening. Spinel couldn’t see the rest of the yellow gem’s face, but she knew exactly who it was from the way the voice spoke to her. She was startled to say the least.

“Sorry, we don’t take visitors-“

“Yellow Pearl!” Spinel flung the door open wider and tackled the yellow gem to the ground. Yellow Pearl let out a soft  _ oof _ before clambering out from under Spinel. 

“Rude. Unacceptable,” Yellow Pearl huffed as she stood up and brushed imaginary dirt off her legs. “I’ll have to report you to my Diamond. I cannot tolerate physical acts of violence in the Pearl House.”

Spinel took a step back and tilted her head questioningly at Yellow Pearl. “It’s me, Yellow,” she said, her voice small. “Don’t you remember me?”

Yellow flicked her eyes from Spinel’s head down to her feet. “Hmm,” she muttered. “Ah yes, I remember you,” she affirmed after a moment. “Pink Diamond’s little plaything. I believe we knew each other once. Maybe six-odd millennia ago. I’m surprised you’re still alive, honestly. You look quite a bit more…” She trailed off, searching for the right word. “... tragic... than I remember,” she finished.

Spinel’s hand darted up to touch the messy pigtails sprouting from her head and trailed down to the long black stripes running from her eyes down to her cheeks and realized that’s what Yellow Pearl was talking about. Spinel was a little self-conscious of her new appearance, which was a form brought about by her lack of sunlight for the past six thousand years rather than just a new form she had chosen after proofing. She had no control over how she looked. She hated it anyway.

“I guess,” was all she said.

Yellow Pearl  _ hmm _ ed for a bit. (Spinel would quickly learn that Yellow Pearl did this a lot.) “Why exactly are you here?” Yellow questioned. “Don’t you serve Steven now? Is Steven here too?”

Spinel winced. “It’s a long story. And no, I don’t serve Steven.”  _ In fact, I’ve never “served” anybody!  _

“So you know him, but you’re not his. Shame. He’d be nice to you. He’s just as goofy and weird as you are. Or... were.”

“Yellow? What’s going on?”

Spinel wasn’t given a chance to shoot Yellow Pearl a sharp retort as a feather-soft voice interrupted their conversation. Light footsteps approached the two gems from the top of the staircase they stood next to, and a round blue face poked itself over the banister. Just like she had Yellow Pearl, Spinel recognized this gem immediately.

Blue Pearl’s reaction seemed to mirror Spinel’s thoughts exactly. “Spinel?” Blue Pearl gasped. Her face, hidden by her long bangs, conveyed no emotion, but her tone said it all.

“Blue Pearl,” Spinel said weakly. “It-it’s been so long.”

Blue Pearl pattered to the bottom of the staircase and came to stand still in front of Spinel. “I can’t believe it’s really you! What happened to you? Did you go to Earth with Pink? Are you doing okay now that she’s gone? Are you-“

Spinel stiffened up defensively. “Yes I went to Earth, no it wasn’t with Pink, yes I’m fine that she’s gone. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Oh.” Blue Pearl nodded, sounding only slightly hurt. “That makes sense. Then...what are you doing here? If you’re comfortable saying,” she added hastily. 

“I guess... I live here now. Something happened on Earth that didn’t really work out for me, so now I’m here. The Diamonds said I’d have roommates. But I didn’t really expect it to be you guys. It’s nice to see you again, though.” Spinel smiled widely the best she could. These were her old friends! She’d be fine with socialization after all. 

“You’re going to live  _ here?”  _ Yellow Pearl gasped. She swooped forward and shook Spinel’s shoulders forcefully. “What on earth happened on earth to make you move all the way back here?”

Blue Pearl swatted at Yellow’s arm. “She said she didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Right.” Yellow Pearl stepped back reluctantly. “Well then, I’d suppose we’d better show you to your room. I don’t know if you sleep or not, but we all do, so I suppose you’ll have to learn. I’ll probably put you in with Pink Pearl since she’s got a room to herself right now. She’s always longed for company ever since...” She went silent, lost in thought.

Spinel shook her head. “That’s impossible. Pink Diamond’s Pearl is on Earth. She can’t be here too.”

“You really haven’t been in the solar system in a while, have you?” Blue Pearl asked sympathetically. “It’s alright. We’ll catch you up. There’s certainly a lot that’s happened. It might take years to tell you everything, but… I doubt you’re in a rush.”

“Before we go into all that, let’s take Spinel to meet her new roommate.” Yellow Pearl cleared her throat and gestured to Blue Pearl and Spinel to follow her. She bounded out of the parlor and up the set of stairs above the entrance to what looked like the living room. Spinel followed the Pearls through a long hallway at the top of the stairs and all the way to the very last room, albeit she a bit less gracefully.

“Pink! We’ve got someone we’d like you to meet!” Blue called softly and lightly tapped the door of the room. There was no response.

“She’s never going to hear you if you’re mumbling into your gem all the time,” Yellow snapped. She gave the door a more forceful knock and cleared her throat. “Pink! I’ve got something very important to show you!”

“Come in!” This voice was gentle and lilting compared to Yellow’s nasally tone and Blue’s barely audible one. It was much more… musical. Spinel wondered if it belonged to a Pearl at all. 

Grabbing Spinel by the wrist, Yellow Pearl thrust her way into Pink Pearl’s room.

“Here. I brought you a roommate.” Yellow shoves Spinel forward, and Spinel almost fell to the ground.

Pink Pearl looked up from where she was sitting on what Spinel guessed was a bed (she had seen one in Steven’s room, too.) Pink’s gaze went from Spinel to Yellow and Blue and back to Spinel again, like she was asking her roommates silent questions.

Her single rose-colored eye fixed on Spinel, Pink Pearl asked a gentle question, free of the usual malice or suspicion Spinel had grown used to being addressed by on Earth. 

“Who are you?”

  
  



	2. Conversation

Pink Pearl stared at the dumbfounded pink Gem for several moments, waiting for a response. She noticed the Gem’s gaze was fixed on her face and for a moment she felt the telltale sting of disappointment in her chest.  _ It’s the eye, isn’t it?  _ she realized.

But then the Gem stuck out her arm stiffly as if waiting for a handshake. “I’m Spinel,” she stated matter-of-factly. 

“Spinel,” Pink Pearl repeated. How mysterious. She’d never heard of a Spinel before. Maybe they were rare. Or important. But this Gem, with her frazzled hair done up in pigtails and her goofy-looking shoes, hardly looked like a high-ranking military Gem. And yet, there was something about her… Pink looked up to Yellow and Blue for a possible explanation, but Yellow had drawn up a touchpad and was typing furiously, and as usual, Blue couldn’t see Pink at all.

“I’m Pink Pearl,” she replied and turned back to Spinel, returning the handshake somewhat reluctantly. “Welcome to our little home.”

“I figured I’d stick her in your room with you since you’ve got the whole place to yourself,” Yellow Pearl interjected, looking up from her touchpad. “Sorry about that. But it’s either here or the living room floor, so.”

“It’s okay,” Pink assured her. “It might be nice to not be alone at night anymore.”

Yellow snorted and went back to typing. “I figured.”

Pink Pearl glanced back at Spinel, who was watching the three Pearls with a nervous expression on her face. Pink had so many questions she couldn’t ask out loud. Who was this Spinel? Where did she come from? Why was her arrival so sudden, and why weren’t Blue and Yellow questioning it at all? For all the Pearls knew, Spinel was an opposer of the disbanding of the Homeworld caste system and was here to spy at the former bottom of Homeworld’s social ladder.

Fortunately, Yellow seemed to sense Pink’s suspicion. “She’s an old friend. You can trust her. But I’ve contacted the Diamonds anyway via digital message.” She touched the top of her touchpad and it disappeared. “They told me everything about why Spinel is here. After Pink Diamond received the news she’d be colonizing Earth, she left Spinel-”

“Yellow, I told you she didn’t want to talk about it,” Blue hissed.

But it was too late- Yellow’s words had already captured Pink Pearl’s attention. 

“Pink Diamond- she  _ left _ you?” Pink Pearl gasped quietly. “You were hers?”

“She is pink,” Yellow muttered.

Spinel ducked her head.  _ Is she embarrassed?  _ She scuffed her odd shoes on the ground for a moment before answering shakily. “Yeah. I was Pink’s.”

“Wow.”  _ I don’t even want to imagine what she did to you. _ “I’m sorry. I get it if you don’t want to talk about it,” she added hurriedly. “I mean- I was hers too. I know how she can be.”

Spinel nodded. “Thanks,” she said weakly.

“Of course.” 

Pink Pearl was surprised to find herself believing the strange pink gem’s story. Pink Diamond did have a very special way of inflicting trauma. Pink Pearl knew the signs- she’d experienced them first-hand- and everything about this Gem’s demeanor and flinchy nature was like looking into a too-clear mirror.

“If you don’t mind my asking-“ Spinel began, “did she do… that? To your-to your eye?” She gestured to her left eye with one gloved hand, imitating the scars that ran along Pink’s eye like cracks on a porcelain doll.

If Pink Pearl had had a heart, it would have leapt in her chest. At Spinel’s question she could almost feel the flash of pain in her eye all over again, the reeling agony that rendered her dizzy, the sensation of being forcefully dragged away from… Pink Pearl could barely muster a word. “She certainly didn’t help,” was all she could force herself to say.

Spinel visibly shuddered. “Of course she didn’t.”

_ This poor Gem. It’s heartbreaking that she understands me. _

Yellow Pearl cleared her throat, interrupting the somber moment. “I think you two have a lot to talk about.” She gestured to Blue Pearl. “Come on. Let’s leave them in peace.” Before Pink Pearl could protest, Yellow had already shut the bedroom door behind her, with Blue following close behind.

_ Trust Yellow to leave me alone with a Gem I barely know so we can bond over our trauma. _

She looked over at Spinel, who was watching Pink with an equally confused expression. Neither of them said a word.

Eventually Spinel cleared her throat. “So…”

“Yeah.” Suddenly realizing she was still standing, Pink took a seat at the end of her bed and gestured for Spinel to sit down beside her. Spinel hesitated before accepting the invitation, sitting so close to Pink that their shoulders brushed.

“Again, I… understand if you don’t want to talk about it-“ Pink began.

Spinel shook her head. “No! No, it’s okay. I’m willing to talk. You seem like you get it, I… I’m so glad to find someone who knows that Pink Diamond wasn’t really… all that.” The last two words sounded almost bitter. 

“Certainly not,” Pink Pearl whispered.

“The gems on Earth seemed to think she was the greatest, since apparently she saved the Earth from destruction a while ago and then she gave birth to Steven, who I guess saved the world a bunch, and-“

Pink Pearl’s eyes lit up. “You know Steven?”

Spinel hesitated before answering. “Yes. I know Steven. Why? Did he turn  _ you _ good too?”

“Steven’s the one who saved me when I...”

“From Pink Diamond?”

Pink Pearl shook her head. “No. From White Diamond.”

“White Diamond did something bad to you too?” Spinel’s eyes widened. “I thought she was just overbearing!”

“Oh, she was overbearing, alright,” Pink Pearl said bitterly. “ _ So  _ overbearing that she had to have eyes on every corner of her court. And that was me. I was her pair of eyes. As long as I watched over Homeworld, so was White. Under her control, I wasn’t myself. I was purely an extension of White Diamond’s power.” She glanced at Spinel through her peripherals and saw the Gem’s pink eyes stretched wide. 

“Wowee, that’s scary,” Spinel breathed.

Pink Pearl nodded. “And the scariest part is that I don’t remember any of it. I don’t know what was doing for the past six thousand years. The last thing I remember is…” Her fingers crept up to the rough scarring where her eye used to be and lingered there for a moment. She didn’t say anything; she didn’t need to. Spinel seemed to understand. 

“I can’t believe White Diamond did that!” Spinel exclaimed. “That’s so unlike her!”

“Maybe now. Maybe to you.” Pink Pearl shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in awhile. I can’t force myself to go near her.”

Spinel sighed. “I understand,” she said softly. “I don’t think I could force myself to go near Pink Diamond, if she were still alive.”

“Me neither.”

A moment of not-quite-awkward silence passed between the two Gems until Spinel’s small voice broke it.

“For me... was so sudden. It was just like Yellow Pearl said. She  _ left _ .” Spinel sounded distant and melancholy. Pink Pearl felt the shorter Gem shift a bit closer so that they were pressed together, Spinel leaning on Pink Pearl for support. Pink Pearl didn’t dare move. 

Spinel fidgeting with her gloves as she told the story. “We were just playing in her garden like we usually did every day. Pink Diamond needed some time to unwind every day, and I gave it to her. We had so much fun together. I made her so happy, and it made me happy too! At least for a while, but after a few years…” Spinel pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, gazing out to a distance that wasn’t there. “She got her Earth colony, and she left and she told me to stand still so I _did, _because she said it was a game and I was so good at games, and so I waited and waited and years went by and then centuries and then _millennia-_“ The Gem’s voice was becoming more and more frantic as she gripped Pink Pearl’s sheets and twisted them in her fingers. Eventually her agitation became too much to bear and she threw her arms around Pink Pearl, pressing her face in Pink Pearl’s neck and staining Pink Pearl’s sleeve with tears. “And she never came back!” came the muffled wail. 

Pink Pearl genuinely wasn’t sure how to comfort Spinel. Pink Diamond had really just  _ left  _ Spinel? Without any warning? Maybe Spinel didn’t have the whole story, but then again, it didn’t really seem out of Pink Diamond’s character to do something like that. It wasn’t unlike the smallest Diamond to grow tired of something after a while and then completely throw it out like a human child with a toy.

Unable to think of anything to say, Pink Pearl brought a slim hand to Spinel’s messy hair, stroking it softly until Spinel’s sobs quieted into more steady breathing. The two pink Gems sat there for a few moments in complete silence. Spinel pressed herself even closer to Pink Pearl, and Pink Pearl placed her chin on the top of Spinel’s head.

“I miss this,” Spinel said quietly after a bit. “I miss having a Gem be so close to me. It was so lonely. I didn’t get to see or be near anyone for six thousand whole years.”

Pink Pearl gave a sympathetic hum. “You’re here now,” she murmured. “That’s what matters. You’re alright. Me and Yellow and Blue will make sure you’re okay and that you’re living your happiest while you’re with us. You deserve to heal, Spinel. And I’ll help you if you want.”

Spinel smiled against Pink Pearl’s shoulder. “I think I’d like that very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably gonna end up being really short. rip. like 10 chapters or something


	3. A Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sucks I wrote it all at night big rip. Also my gemsona is in it for like 5 secs sorry  
she won’t come back tho

The two stayed tucked against each other for a few minutes until there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” Pink Pearl said, squeezing Spinel’s hand reassuringly before fetching their visitor. Unsurprisingly, it was Yellow Pearl, who peered in from the doorway with a raised eyebrow before resting her gaze on Spinel.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Yellow Pearl said smugly.

Spinel’s cheeks were on fire as the yellow gem narrowed her eyes at her, but Pink Pearl’s tone was calm as could be. “Of course not,” she said smoothly. “What’s up?”

“Blue Pearl and I are bored and decided that the three of us should show Spinel around town.” Yellow stated matter-of-factly. “We could go shopping, gem-watch, or whatever. We don’t care. We would just like to get out of the house.”

Pink Pearl nodded. “That sounds fine to me. Spinel?” She turned to her new friend, who was still sitting red-faced on her bed. “Would you like to go with Yellow and Blue to tour the town? It’d be fun!”

Spinel blinked. “Okay.” _ Wait- with Yellow and Blue? _“Pink Pearl? You’re not coming?”

“You guys should go on and have fun!” Pink Pearl said quickly, holding her hands up. “I’ll be fine. I’ve got stuff to do here. You know, watering the flowers, making dinner...”

Yellow Pearl sighed. Her expression was strangely soft as she pushed open the door approached Pink Pearl, and Spinel saw that Blue Pearl was tagging along behind her. “I understand that you’re wary of going out after what happened,” she said and placed a hand on Pink’s shoulder. “But you can’t stay cooped up in here forever. And with Spinel’s arrival, it seems a great opportunity is here for you to face your fear. The outside isn’t scary. The Diamonds will be in their palace, nowhere near you. You’ll have Blue and I, and Spinel.” 

“You’re here with us. That’s what matters,” Spinel put in, referencing what Pink had told her earlier.

A small smile graced Pink Pearl’s features and she glanced down at the ground. “You guys are sweet,” she murmured. Spinel shrugged.

“Of course, don’t feel obligated to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” Blue Pearl said. “That’s what’s most important to us. Pearls support Pearls.”

“Pearls support Pearls,” Pink echoed.

“And Spinels!” Spinel interjected, grinning.

Pink Pearl giggled and Spinel felt as if she’d been handed a trophy. “And Spinels, of course.” She straightened her shoulders and faced Yellow Pearl head-on. “Okay. I guess I’m ready to go out with you, if you really want me too. But if I freak out, we have to go back inside. Promise.”

Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl nodded solemnly. “We promise.”

Spinel rushed up to Pink Pearl and grabbed the taller gem’s arm. “I’ll protect you from anything!” she vowed. “If White Diamond wants to get you, she’ll have to go through me first!”

“She won’t stand a chance,” Pink Pearl laughed.

“Why don’t we just stay in the square?” Blue suggested. “There’s plenty to show Spinel just around here.”

Pink Pearl ducked her head. “If that’s alright with Spinel.” 

Spinel thought Pink Pearl seemed mildly embarrassed that the other Pearls were making accommodations for her, but why? These Homeworld gems were so sweet. Nothing like this would have ever happened before she’d left. During Era 1, if you were scared of one (or all) of the Diamonds and didn’t want to go outside, too bad, because you were probably already their personal servant and living in the palace. But now, Gems were focusing on the well being of each other, something beyond most Era 1 Gems’ wildest dreams_ . _ Spinel supposed she could get used to this. “Of course it’s fine!” she said brightly.

“Then what are we doing standing around here like a bunch of defective Amethysts?” Yellow Pearl said crossly. “Let’s go. The air in here is stuffing me up.”

How were they just standing around? Spinel wondered. Maybe Yellow Pearl was just always like this. Spinel supposed Yellow Pearl hadn’t changed at all since they last saw each other.

Spinel followed Pink, Yellow, and Blue down the stairs and out the door carefully, swearing to herself she wouldn’t fall and embarrass herself in front of her new roommates. Sure, when she was riled up she was a graceful player and fighter, but when she was a tad nervous and trying her best to impress, she found not tripping over her own feet was a bit tough.

The gentle Homeworld dusk hit Spinel’s face as soon as she stepped outside and she had to squint to see through the orange starlight. Around her now was the same bustling plaza as when she’d arrived just earlier that day, but on a much more personal level now that she didn’t have to rush. She even saw the Amethyst from before that she’d run into, and gave her a nervous wave. The Amethyst didn’t seem to see her.

Spinel felt a stable hand fall on her shoulder and turned to see Pink Pearl looking down at her with a smile. “I know it might seem overwhelming right now- I mean, there are a lot of Gems in one place and it’s kind of loud and there’s lots to look at, but it’s not as scary as it seems. Just stay with us and you’ll be fine,” she assured Spinel.

“Okay,” Spinel replied, peering through a gathering throng of Gems that they were stopped behind. A wide silver platform was set up in front of a small building, bare except for a few big black boxes and a stool. _ What are those for? _

“Looks like a concert. Again.” Yellow Pearl sniffed disdainfully. “Honestly. You can’t go three seconds outside without getting my hypothetical ears blasted out by some senseless Kyanite. Ever since they started making them deaf the Kyanites don’t think to consider that other Gems still have their hearing.”

Spinel gaped at Yellow. “They started making them _ deaf? _ When?”

“After the incident at their colony,” Blue Pearl answered. She gestured to the stage, where a stocky blue Gem in an old-fashioned, frilly uniform was setting up a few odd-looking instruments. “The Diamonds deemed them all irresponsible, took their hearing, and repurposed them as personal musicians. They’re good at their job, but you can’t help but feel bad for them.” 

Spinel sensed Pink Pearl go still beside her. She guessed the talk of the Diamonds stealing a Gem’s senses- in this case hearing, or even _ eyesight- _ was a little uncomfortable for her. Spinel wanted to speak up, but couldn’t find the courage, so she lightly brushed Pink’s arm with her own, letting the Pearl know she was there.

“Seems pretty pointless to me, because now the organic life industry is totally dead,” Yellow muttered. “And what good is a deaf musician?”

“Shh. They work hard, and they’re talented,” Blue whispered.

Pink Pearl peeped up, surprising Spinel. “Can we stay and watch? I know you’re not fond of music, but I’m sure Spinel’s never seen a performance like this.”

Yellow looked at Spinel and Pink standing side by side, matching hopeful grins on their faces. “Fine,” Yellow groaned. 

Pink pumped her fist in the air. “Yesss! Spinel, you’re gonna love this!”

Spinel smiled at Pink at turned to face the stage, where Kyanite was already preparing to sing. The blue Gem cleared her throat and the audience went silent.

Spinel’s breath caught in her throat as Kyanite moved her hands and began to manipulate the air around her, releasing sweet instrumental sounds Spinel had never heard before. The music was slow and swingy, and when Kyanite opened her mouth, Spinel was fully enchanted.

“_ Somehow it seems _

_ I’m back where I began _

_ Everything behind me _

_ Is in my future again _

_ Don’t know if I can change things _

_ If she can still be swayed _

_ But I know when I’m through, though _

_ She’ll wish that she had stayed…” _

Spinel was frozen to the spot after the first verse of the song. The lyrics said something to her- reminded her of her past, of Pink Diamond. She wasn’t sure what the song really meant, but she supposed it was about a second chance of sorts. 

What would Spinel do if she had a second chance? Would she have waited? Would she have found Steven? Would she have _ tried to kill _Steven? She wasn’t sure. There were so many paths she could have chosen. And she’d picked the worst one.

_ But I’m here now. Aren’t I? _

_ But Pink isn’t. _

_ She is here. Pink Pearl, anyway. She’s nice. She treats me like a friend. _

_ So did Pink Diamond. Until she left. _

_ Shut up! _

As the song faded into the chorus, Spinel’s memories gradually became more and more distressing. Kyanite sang about lost chances, missed opportunities, and forgotten loves, and Spinel found herself resonating with all of it. She couldn’t escape. Even here on Homeworld, everywhere she turned, she was reminded of everything she’d lost. 

_ I’ve managed to keep the memories down this long. Just keep going. _

_ It’s not like that, though. Six thousand years are hard to just suppress. _

_ But it was six thousand years of pure nothingness! It should be easy to forget. _

_ Not when you’re guilty. _

_ Of what? Everything that happened with Steven? _

_ No. For being annoying. And totally useless. She did the only logical thing, in her mind, she left you there to rot under the guise of a game. And now you’re out here on Homeworld looking like this, like six thousand years of abandonment! She didn’t need you, they won’t need you. Why don’t you just try- _

_ Spinel, you- _

“Spinel? Spinel!”

Spinel was ripped from her thoughts like a flower from its stem. Only when she focused and was able to make out Pink Pearl standing above her, looking concerned, did she realize she’d collapsed on the ground and was now trembling wildly, her arms coiled out beside her.

“Spinel, what’s going on?” That was Blue Pearl, peering over Pink’s shoulder.

“I- I don’t-“ Spinel could still hear echoes of her thoughts in her mind, but she forced herself to push them away. “Memories- Pink-“

Pink Pearl nodded curtly. “Say no more. We’ve got you.” She extended her arm out for Spinel to grab, but Spinel shook her head, insisting she could get up on her own.

One she was stably on her feet, Spinel carefully trudged away from the stage, the Pearls trailing behind her. Pink Pearl especially was a constant, reassuring presence behind Spinel, lingering just a footstep behind. Spinel suddenly knew that the Pearl’s companionship here on a planet full of bad memories would be a valuable one.

Surprisingly Yellow Pearl had the decency to hold the door of the Pearl House open for the others. “Let’s go upstairs,” Pink Pearl suggested quietly to Spinel as soon as they were inside. Spinel nodded, and the ghost of a hand on her shoulder guided her.

Pink Pearl’s room was quiet, and Spinel could see the beginning of nighttime falling outside the window. She hadn’t realized how little time had passed since she’d arrived on Homeworld. It had only been a day, and yet it felt as if she had been here for a lifetime. And as soon as she sat down on Pink Pearl’s bed, she realized how exhausted she was, too.

Pink Pearl immediately took a seat beside her. “Do you want me to stay here? Or do you want me to leave?” she asked gently. 

“Stay here.” Spinel’s voice was small. “I don’t wanna be lonely again.”

“I understand.”

“You get it, right? Does some… stuff bring up memories for you too?” Spinel asked. “I can’t believe it was _ music _for me. That’s such a dumb thing to get upset by.”

“I do get memories,” Pink Pearl admitted. “And getting upset- it’s not dumb. No matter what upsets you, it’s okay. You’re still healing and so am I.” She tilted her head and regarded Spinel with a curious gaze. “I don’t know a lot about you yet, Spinel. Before this morning I didn’t even know who you were. But I can’t help but feel like maybe you were brought you here to me on purpose. Maybe we're meant to get through this together…” She blushed pink, and lifted a hand to the side of her face. “Wait, no. I’m just being selfish. And cheesy. Sorry.”

“You said it’s okay,” Spinel said simply, “so it’s okay.”

“Maybe you have a point, Spinel,” Pink Pearl laughed. She glanced past Spinel and out at the darkening sky. “Hey, Spinel? Can I show you something?” She hesitated. “I want to show you how to sleep. It’s actually very comfortable. But I might have to touch you, if that’s okay.”

Spinel’s throat suddenly felt tight. Sure, it had just been a few hours ago that the two had sat on Pink Pearl’s bed, holding each other, but any invitation for physical affection was like a gift to Spinel. After all, she had a lot of years worth of loneliness to catch up on. “I know how to sleep,” she said. “I did sometimes, um, with Pink? But it’s been a while. I kind of forgot how it works. So uh. Of course it’s alright,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm. 

“Okay, then-“ Pink Pearl scooted backwards to the head of the bed and layed down on her side. “No come lay here next to me,” she instructed. Spinel nodded and laid herself down sideways so she was staring right at the other gem.

“You can face any way you want. Doesn’t have to be right at me.” Pink Pearl seemed embarrassed, and Spinel let out a giggle despite herself. “What are you laughing at?”

“You!” Spinel exclaimed. “Your face is all red!”

“Oh. I thought it was-“ She brought a hand up to her scarred eye. “Nothing. Sorry. So anyway-”

“You’re not sneaky with that hand of yours. It’s all self-conscious,” Spinel interrupted. “I like your eye. I think it’s neat. It makes you unique. And there aren’t a whole lot of unique gems around here, are there?”

Pink Pearl blinked. “I… suppose not.” 

“So you don’t want me to face you?”

“I never said that!” Pink Pearl protested. “I just-“

“Okay then.” Without warning, Spinel wrapped her arms around Pink Pearl and grinned. “Is this okay?”

“It’s…” Pink Pearl’s eye met Spinel’s for a brief moment. Much to Spinel’s delight, Pink Pearl smiled. “It’s perfect. Now... to sleep, you just close your eyes and don’t think about anything. Maybe you’ll have dreams. I’ll explain those later, they’re kind of a long topic. Lots of stuff we don’t know about that, actually.”

Spinel’s eyes began to droop. “Dreams are the one thing I do remember.” 

Pink Pearl rested her chin on Spinel’s forehead. “Good night, Spinel.”

“Night, Pink.”

Just before Spinel drifted off to sleep, she felt a pair of pink arms that weren’t her own reach out and pull her closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spinel is so touch starved she’s literally me


	4. Dreams

The Garden had existed for as long as Pink Pearl could remember- and that was a pretty long time. She wasn’t sure if she predated humans, but if she didn’t, she was pretty close. 

She was there today, at the Garden, and as she listened to the tranquil rustling of leaves and breathed in the sweet scent of flowers, she heard a voice sound behind her.

“Wow, Pearl! You won! I can’t believe you beat me here!”

Pink Pearl whipped around and grinned. “You let me win.”

“Did not.” Pink Diamond, standing just a few feet from her Pearl, cocked her head. “Why would I?”

“Because I’m tiny!” Pink Pearl laughed, throwing her hands in the air. “You could float here faster than I could use the warp pads.”

“But I didn’t.”

“You could have.”

“Prove it.”

“Race you back?”

Pink Diamond shook her head. “Not today, Pearl. I’m sorry. We’re not here to play games this time. There’s something I brought you here to talk about.”

Pink Pearl’s relaxed demeanor slackened. “Oh?”  _ Something we need to talk about- _ that could hardly mean anything good. Pink Diamond’s garden was a place of privacy. In fact, it was the only place in their corner of the universe where they could escape the prying eyes of the other Diamonds. Pink Diamond must have provoked them again- and from her Diamond’s voice, Pink Pearl could tell that this incident had something to do with her.  _ But I haven’t done anything! _ she thought, panicked.  _ Except- _

Pink Diamond lowered herself to sit back on the balls of her feet and beckoned Pink Pearl forward. When her Pearl approached. Pink took her Pearl’s hands gently in her own.

Pink Pearl could see fear in those diamond-shaped pupils. 

“The other Diamonds are becoming suspicious of our friendship,” Pink Diamond said quietly, urgently, and Pink Pearl’s hypothetical breath was knocked out her hypothetical lungs. “I’m afraid they may confiscate you, as that was their previous warning-”

“I should have seen this coming,” Pink Pearl choked out. “My Diamond, I apologize. I should have known that would happen eventually, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would happen so soon-”

“It is no one’s job to see the future but a Sapphire,” Pink Diamond interrupted. “Maybe that’s who alerted Yellow and Blue and White. I’m sure I’ll never know, though.”

“My Diamond,” Pink Pearl breathed. “What is going to happen to you?”

Pink Diamond tilted her head. “Bad things, I’m sure. But I am more concerned,” she went on, giving Pink Pearl’s hands a squeeze, “about what is going to happen to you.”

Pink Pearl stepped away and bowed her head lightly. “My Diamond, I am merely an exchangeable Pearl. You mustn't worry. If something’s going to happen to me, you will have a new Pearl, and she will be no different than I.”

“Enough with the fancy talk.” Pink Diamond said dismissively. “You know none of that is true. You aren’t replaceable. You’re the best friend I have in this gem-forsaken empire.”

“I’m not supposed to be.”

“But you are!” her Diamond insisted. “Look at you! You’re breaking all the rules, taking on powerful gems, challenging the very core ideas of our world, simply by being my friend! No one but you has the courage to do that!”

“But I don’t…” Pink Pearl sighed. “I don’t want to do that.”

Pink Diamond stiffened. “Why?”

“It’s not what I was made for! I feel more comfortable obeying the rules and avoiding trouble. You can dance around the Diamonds’ regime all you want, but they’re going to catch you eventually! In fact, they may already have! You’re different from the others, Pink. I’m sorry. But I don’t think I can go on avoiding the rules like you do anymore.” 

Pink Diamond’s gasp made the Pearl realize that she’d made a mistake. “I’m sorry-”

“No, no.” Pink Diamond shut her eyes and stood up. She backed away from Pink Pearl slowly, not daring to look at the smaller gem. “Don’t apologize. I have failed my duty to my Pearl as a Diamond. Someone might as well just shove me back in Blue’s cell again.”

Pink Pearl wanted to apologize again, but she found that her mouth was unable to open as if it had been sewn shut.

Pressing her fingers to her temples, Pink Diamond began to pace. “I suppose I have failed,” she muttered. “Imagine. A Pearl more loyal to the leaders of Homeworld than an actual leader of Homeworld. Not that I’m any sort of leader. I can’t even have my own colony, for stars’ sake.” She paused and glanced at Pink Pearl. “You’re right. I should be a role model for you. Not a friend. Perhaps I should try harder.”

A wave of guilt washed over Pink Pearl and nearly knocked her to the ground. She’d started this. Pink Diamond’s downward spiral of self-esteem was all her fault. All because she’d said she didn’t completely want their friendship to continue. And why? She’d just been trying to protect her Diamond! If Blue, Yellow, and White really were getting suspicious, Pink Pearl knew that she had to fly under their radar, act like one of their Pearls- quiet, obedient Blue Pearl or even vain but loyal Yellow Pearl. Anything but the traitor  _ friend  _ she was now.

“That’s not true.” Pink Pearl forced herself to speak. “My Diamond, I will serve you however you would like me to. Friend or not. It is my calling.”

“I understand that, Pearl.” Pink Diamond heaved a sigh.

“So what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know yet. We’ll have to see what happens with the others. White was dropping hints at the ball yesterday, and I… it just makes me nervous. Always keep an eye out for yourself, and of course I’ll watch out for you too.”

Pink Pearl figured it was pointless to argue again. “I understand, my Diamond.”

There was a brief moment of silence before it was cut in half by a sharp, knifelike voice.

“Who’s watching out for  _ who,  _ exactly?”

It was at that moment that a terrifying claw of terror ripped its was though the very core of Pink Pearl’s being. A short distance away from her, Pink Diamond gasped- and then the warp pad lit up, and both gems seemed to know that everything between them was going to be shattered like a disobedient Quartz soldier.

Off the warp pad stepped White Diamond, wearing a plaintive but menacing smile. “Pink, Pink, Pink,” she murmured. “What did we talk about with the Pearl? Did I hear you saying you were going to protect her? You  _ know  _ we’ve had this discussion before.”

“I-I was just-“ Pink Diamond backed up slowly, away from White’s hostile footsteps as they drew closer.

“Just what?” White asked innocently. “Just telling her to protect herself from  _ me? _ One of her Diamonds?”

Despite the clear threat, Pink Diamond stopped in her tracks and bristled. “ _ I  _ am her only Diamond!”

White Diamond laughed. “Not if you keep acting up. We might have to  _ rehome  _ your Pearl.”

Pink Pearl, frozen with fear and unable to move, began to shake.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Pink Diamond snarled.

“Oh, but I would!” White’s gaze wandered lazily to Pink Pearl and stopped there. The Pearl’s breath caught in her throat. She was sure she was going to faint. “After all,” she continued, “I don’t have a Pearl. And it just so happens that Yellow and Blue and I are in the process of creating a new one for you! One that’s obedient. One that doesn’t have the capacity for friendship like yours does now.”

“She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“She was  _ programmed  _ to know better!” White snapped. “And so were you. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. Raising you has been harder than raising a gemling. It truly is disappointing that we’ll need a Pearl of all gems to be the one to put you in your place.”

Pink Diamond turned to Pink Pearl and their eyes locked. There was a clear message in the Diamond’s eyes.  _ Run. _

And just like that Pink Pearl was sprinting.

She wasn’t sure where to go. The garden was small, and White took up a quarter of the total area, so she had to settle for hiding behind a pillar for the time being. Crouching behind the stone, she heard Pink and White’s voices violently jabbing at each other, each word growing angrier and angrier. 

“Your Pearl is a coward. Under my rule, she’ll be different.”

“She’ll never be under your rule! She’s my Pearl,

I get to keep her! If you won’t give me a colony at least give me  _ this!” _

“Perhaps you don’t deserve any of it!”

Pink Pearl peered around the edge of the pillar and watched the arguing Diamonds fearfully.

“Think about it, Starlight,” White drawled. “A perfect, flawless, beautiful Pearl under my rule to be my eyes around Homeworld. No Gem would step out of line again! Wouldn’t it be perfect?”

Pink Diamond raised her chin defiantly. “Far from it.”

Suddenly it seemed that Pink Diamond could sense her Pearl watching her, and she turned her gaze toward the pillar. Her eyes flashed with recognition and she mouthed a few words at her Pearl.  _ I have an idea.  _

But Pink Pearl could learn nothing more of what her Diamond was trying to say- suddenly the images of Pink and White glitched once, then faded abruptly, leaving Pink Pearl alone in the garden, her ears ringing with shock.

Someone called out to her. “Pink Pearl?”

Pink Pearl spun around, gratefulness shooting through her at the sound of the newly familiar voice. 

Spinel stood just behind Pink, her head tilted and concern lighting her eyes. “Pink… I can’t believe…”

“Spinel!” Pink Pearl exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, actually-“ Spinel stepped up to Pink suddenly, her face suddenly morphing into an expression of shock. “Your eyes!”

Pink Pearl’s hands drifted to her face. “Yeah, they-“ She broke out into a grin. “Oh my stars! They’re back!”

“It must be because you’re dreaming!”

“It...is?” Pink asked lamely. She couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice. She hadn’t known she was dreaming, but she wasn’t surprised. Of course her eye wasn’t actually fixed. “Oh yeah.”

“Sorry,” Spinel sighed. 

“It’s okay.” Pink Pearl tilted her head. “What are you doing in my dream anyway? I haven’t really known you long enough to be dreaming about you yet.”  _ Wow, this gem must have really made an impression on me, huh? _

Spinel have a tiny bounce. Pink Pearl was relieved to see that her playful demeanor had quickly returned. “See, that’s a funny thing that I can do. I’m supposed to make gems happy, right? Well, that counts for dreams too! If I’m sleeping near a gem that’s having a nightmare I can go into their dream and make it better!”

Pink Pearl laughed lightly. “That’s so sweet.”

“It’s kind of just what I’m made to do,” Spinel admitted. “I want to do it too, of course. Making other gems happy makes me happy. Not just because it’s supposed to,” she added quickly.

Pink Pearl realized with a jolt that they were still standing in the garden. This had to be bringing up some bad memories for Spinel, but the other gem hardly seemed bothered. All the same, Pink Pearl felt as if they should try to leave as soon as possible.

“Well, Spinel,” she said, taking Spinel’s gloved hands gently in her own. “Let’s try to wake up soon, okay? It’s probably almost morning. If you’d like, we can talk then, about… this.”  _ Poor thing. The memories must be inescapable for her. _

Spinel smiled, and Pink Pearl felt something in her chest ignite. She’d known this gem for only a day, and yet it felt as if their fates were intertwined like string. Their bond felt imperative, and most importantly, it felt real.

“Okay,” Spinel agreed. “Sleep well till then, Pink.”


	5. Morning

“Spinel? Spinel!  _ Spinel!” _

Spinel’s eyes snapped open at the frantic yelling of her name, meeting Pink Pearl’s own terrified gaze. Whether they were wide from fear of her dream or from her sudden immobility Spinel wasn’t sure. 

She suddenly realized she had her arms wrapped around the Pearl like a cocoon, nearly suffocating her. “Oh my stars!” Spinel unwound her arms and scrambled backward frantically. “I’m so sorry, Pink- I-” She fumbled for words, shrinking in on herself with shame. If she’d been squeezing any harder she could have  _ poofed her roommate _ .

“Don’t be.” Pink Pearl sat up and calmly held up one hand. “It was an accident.”

Spinel tried desperately to find an excuse. “It’s just, um. I haven’t really, like… been close to a gem like that in a really long time, so I sort of, um… sort of got carried away?” She offered Pink Pearl a cheeky smile in apology.

“Seriously. It’s cool,” Pink Pearl insisted. “And I mean- It was kind of like that for me, too. Being so… touch-isolated. So I didn’t really mind until you were, like… squeezing me really hard.”

“I’msososorry-”

‘It’s alright, Spinel.”

“O...okay.” Spinel’s posture slumped and heaved a sigh. For a moment a contemplative silence filled the space around them. Clearly, neither gem was eager to talk about the Diamond in the room. Pink Pearl’s dream from the previous night weighed heavy in Spinel’s mind, and she wanted desperately to comfort her new friend. But she didn’t know how she’d say it without coming across as rude that she’d invaded the dreams of someone who was for all intents and purposes a stranger. Besides, she was shaken by what she’d seen- White Diamond had been a monster, chasing and threatening to take poor Pink Pearl away for a crime that was nothing greater than the simple gesture of friendship. 

_ And Pink Pearl went to the garden too. _

She felt a slim hand rest on her knee. She glanced up and noticed that Pink Pearl was watching her with a certain calmness in her eye, and Spinel suddenly felt a wave of peacefulness wash over her. She was  _ here,  _ in the present, with Pink Pearl. If nothing else- if Pink Pearl’s dream was really going to rock her perception of the Diamonds- she could at least be sure of that.  _ But do I really deserve Pink Pearl’s kindness? _

“Spinel? Are you okay?” Pink Pearl asked

_ One day in, and you don’t deserve her. _

“Spinel, you look like you’re about to cry.”

“I’m fine,” Spinel squeaked less-than-convincingly.

Pink Pearl raised her eyebrow. “Alright, then.” When Spinel mustered a mere whimper in response, she tried again. “Was it about the dream? If that was really you or not. I mean, I could have been just dreaming that you told me that Spinels could dream-travel.”

“No that was… that was really me,” Spinel sighed. “I’m so sorry I did that. I just- walked right in your super-duper private dream. Maybe I should have warned you about before we went to sleep. But I didn’t want to seem  _ creepy!  _ I’m already  _ messed-up _ enough!” She gripped her pigtails in both hands and gave them both a slight, agitated tug.

Pink Pearl reached up and gently grasped Spinel’s wrists, guiding them away from her hair. “Don’t do that.”

“Sorry. Kinda just a bad habit.”

“You don’t need to be so hard on yourself.” Pink Pearl released Spinel’s wrists, and Spinel nearly shuddered from the sudden lack of touch on her skin. “You did the right thing, you know. For me, anyway. Nightmares have been a bit of a problem for me ever since… everything. I thought that maybe having someone next to me would make it better. And it did- but now I’m worried about you!”

“You don’t even know me!” Spinel retorted. “The last thing you should do is worry about me.”

Pink Pearl shrugged bashfully. “I feel like I  _ do _ know you, though. Both of us have been through a lot. I can sympathize with you in a way most gems probably can’t, and… I think that automatically makes our bond stronger.”

“I guess.”

“I’m sorry you had to see the garden again last night. I’m sure that’s the last place you really want to be right now.”

“It’s okay,” Spinel murmured. “It was almost kind of… nice, until I realized what was going on. I’d forgotten how beautiful it was when it was in bloom.”

Pearl Pearl seemed to ponder Spinel’s statement. A small smile flickered across her face but disappeared as fast as it came, leaving a shadow across her perfect features. She seemed to be recalling her own past, her own carefree days as Pink Diamond’s best friend, before everything had changed and… 

A sudden, terrifying realization hit Spinel right between the eyes. “I was your replacement,” she gasped. “I was given to Pink Diamond because you were taken away.” The revalation shocked her like a lightning bolt. Perhaps her and Pink Pearl’s fates were more caught up in each other than they’d realized.

Pink head snapped up to look at Spinel. Spinel was terrified she would see malice in the Pearl’s eye-  _ you replaced me, you broke me, this is all YOUR FAULT,  _ she thought would be the argument _ \-  _ but she didn’t see any. Pink Pearl’s expression was as calm and kind as ever, and Spinel was surprised when her friend broke out into a smile. 

“I guess that makes us even more fated to meet, huh?” she said light-heartedly. 

Spinel’s face went magenta. “Yeah,” she chuckled. “I guess so.”

“But wait.” Pink Pearl’s brow furrowed. “That doesn’t make any sense. I was taken away because I was being too  _ childish,  _ or whatever that excuse was supposed to be, and for being Pink Diamond’s friend. You were created for  _ that exact purpose,  _ which completely defeats the reason White had for taking me from Pink. If they wanted Pink to have a friend, why not just let it be me?”

“Maybe,” Spinel suggested, “it’s ‘cuz you were a Pearl? And they needed Pink’s Pearl to be someone who’d never ever step outta line? So they made that new one, that lousy one with the spear back on Earth?”

“It’s possible,” Pink Pearl huffed. “And it’s not that I  _ was _ a Pearl. I’m  _ still _ a Pearl. Unfortunately. The Diamonds totally changing the way Homeworld is run doesn’t magically transform me into a Sapphire or something.”

“Well, I think Pearls are real swell! Just ‘cuz you were created to be a servant doesn’t mean that’s gotta be who you are forever!” Spinel put in, trying to be helpful. “Blue and Yellow were the best back before… stuff. Blue was such a good artist. Bet she still is! Hmm. Wonder what Yellow was always up to… she wasn’t much good at anything but being painfully blunt and to the point ‘bout everything. Still love her, though.”

“Yes, that much hasn’t changed,” Pink Pearl muttered.

“Anyway!” Spinel exclaimed, refocusing herself. “I think there’s more to the story here with White and Pink. I know! We should figure it out! We could uncover a whole mystery together, wouldn’t that be fun? Just the two of us, the superest detectives ever!”

Pink Pearl winced. “Maybe we can talk about it another time. If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course it’s alright!” Spinel felt as if her Gem had cracked when she noted the pained expression on Pink Pearl’s beautiful face. Had she upset Pink Pearl? She hoped not. She desperately didn’t want her to have to refocus on bad memories. And as she recalled the dream with a shiver, she understood why. “Don’t wanna trap you in the past with all the bad stuff.”

“The past doesn’t matter. Yellow and Blue and- and you, of course- you guys are all the present. You’re my new present. There isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be,” Pink Pearl assured her. “The life we’ve built, and the one you’re going to become a part of- it’s perfect.”

Spinel flustered and glanced down at her hands, messing with her gloves to herself. “Wowee,” she giggled quietly. “I’m flattered.”

Pink Pearl didn’t have a chance to say anything else. There was a quick bang of the bedroom door slamming against the wall and Yellow Pearl appeared in the doorway, glancing down her nose at Pink Pearl and Spinel. “Good morning,” she said tersely. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Please knock before you come in,” Pink Pearl snapped. I’ve been asking you for  _ months, _ but you always come barging in anyway. Please stop doing that.”

Yellow Pearl snorted. “Maybe now that you have a roommate, I should,” she sassed. She then left as quickly as she’d appeared, not even bothering to close the door.

“That gem,” Pink Pearl huffed under her breath. “No tact and no manners whatsoever.” She stood up from the bed and turned to face Spinel. “It’s a wonder you ever got along with her.”

Spinel grimaced. “I know.”

“I guess we’d better get going.” Pink Pearl sighed and reached up to scratch the back of her head. “Breakfast time here at the Pearl House is always something, I’ll tell you what. Do you like to eat?”

_ Eat?  _ The practice was unfamiliar to Spinel at first until she was able to recall her experience just two days before- she’d been with Steven, she remembered, and those donuts had been  _ good. _ Hopefully, she still liked food even in her post-amnesia state. “Sure do, far as I remember!” she replied cheerfully. “My favorite food is donuts.”

“That’s a relief. After Steven introduced them to Homeworld a year ago, they’re all Yellow and Blue will eat.”

“I think I’ll like it here just fine, then!” Spinel laughed as she followed Pink Pearl down the stairs.

When they arrived in the kitchen, the only gem that greeted Spinel and Pink Pearl cheerfully was Blue- Yellow sat on top of the table next to a large white carboard box. “Hi!” Blue called through a mouthful of-surprise- donut. She waved at Pink and Spinel enthusiastically. “Fpinel!! How’d ‘ou sweep?”

Spinel glanced at Pink Pearl, who shook her head.  _ Oh, right _ . “Fine,” Spinel lied. “Pink’s bed is really nice.” That part was true, at least.

“Did she wrap you up in her sleep and nearly choke you?” Yellow asked Pink. Spinel couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.”

“Maybe.” Pink Pearl grinned and ruffled Spinel’s hair playfully. “In general, though, she’s a pretty good cuddler. A natural for being so new at it.”

“I just learned last night,” Spinel announced proudly.

“Too bad not everyone can be a natural like Spinel,” Blue Pearl teased quietly and poked Yellow Pearl in the side, prompting her to squawk indignantly.

“Hey! I do my best!”

“You were wriggling like one of those weird worm gems for months,” Blue laughed.

Yellow Pearl huffed and crossed her arms. “You love me anyway.”

Blue smiled and hefted herself up onto the table to sit by Yellow. Tucking her fingers under Yellow’s chin, she tilted Yellow’s face toward her own until their lips were pressed together in an act that Spinel could describe only as incredibly odd and yet intriguing. She wondered what the felt like. “You bet I do,” Blue said softly, leaving Yellow’s face a bright shade of red.

Pink Pearl pretended to gag. “Eeeyuck. Get a room.”

“Jokes on you, we already have one,” Yellow said haughtily.

“Remind me to stay away.”

Spinel reached up and tugged on Pink Pearl’s sleeve. “What was that?” she asked. Blue and Yellow’s gesture wasn’t overly strange or complicated, but it left a weird feeling in Spinel’s gut. She figured Pink knew what was going on.

“You don’t know?” Pink Pearl fixed Spinel with a dumbfounded glance. “Oh well. I guess that’s understandable. It’s called a kiss,” she explained and glanced back at Yellow and Blue, who had descended into their own little teasing conversation and were paying no mind to the two pink gems. “If gems are like, in love with each other, they do it a lot. It’s actually descended from human culture, but it made its way pretty recently.”

Spinel stared blankly. “In love?” she echoed. “You mean like friends?”

Pink Pearl hesitated. “It’s a little different than that,” she said slowly. “It’s kind of like when you start feeling all warm and tingly around a certain gem, and sometimes you just know you kind of want to spend as much time around them as possible and that you’ll be there for her no matter what…” She trailed off. “It’s difficult to explain.”

“Have  _ you _ felt like that before?” Spinel asked, her eyes going wide.

Pink Pearl blushed fiercely. “No!” she exclaimed. “Well- no. I learned about it from human programs, and Blue and Yellow. Human programs are kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. It wouldn’t usually be acceptable for gems to mingle with human culture like that, but-“ She shrugged. “It is now.”

“Oh.” Spinel looked back at the other two Pearls. So many things here confused her- from the gems to the traditions and their relationships. She wasn’t sure if she could ever get the hang of it, let alone become a part of it.

“Maybe I’ll figure it out someday,” she murmured to herself.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there’s typos in this I’m sorry lol I wrote it on my phone 
> 
> also I planned this out and it’s gonna be about 17 or 18 chapters yee!!haw!!


	6. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire thing was supposed to fit into the last chapter whOOOOOPS

“Booooooo,” Spinel groaned at the TV, chucking a kernel of popcorn at it. It bounced off the screen and onto the carpeted floor, and from beside Spinel, Pink Pearl let out a soft giggle.

“Don’t waste all the popcorn,” Pink Pearl teased. “We’ll never hear the end of it from Yellow.”

Spinel snorted. “This show is dumb. Those two characters keep making that face at each other and they’re  _ still  _ not together.”

“What face?” Pink Pearl asked.

“You know! That face that Yellow and Blue make at each other whenever they’re in the same room!”

“Oh.” Pink Pearl’s face contorted into a grimace. “I know that face.”

“I think the writers of this stupid human show are scared of the  _ power _ they hold in their hands with those two characters.”

“Peridot did warn me that the relationships in this show are somewhat disappointing,” Pink Pearl admitted.

Spinel shrugged. “Oh well. It’s easy to make fun of, at least.”

“Yeah.”

Pink Pearl and Spinel fell into a comfortable silence. As they lay comfortably on her bed, Pink Pearl noted how Spinel leaned comfortably on Pink’s shoulder. It felt nice to have another gem so close by after so long, and listening to Spinel’s gentle breathing almost lured Pink Pearl to sleep herself. It did seem as if Spinel was holding back, though. She seemed to want to press herself closer to Pink Pearl but seemed almost hesitant, like she was afraid to intrude on Pink’s personal space. She never hesitated to curl up around Pink at night though- as she always said, “you can’t hold me accountable for anything I do when I’m tired.”

Figuring she had nothing to lose, Pink Pearl wriggled a bit closer and rested her chin on the top of Spinel’s head. She couldn’t gauge a reaction to her affection, though, because not one second later the bedroom door was shoved open abruptly and in stormed Yellow Pearl.

Spinel gave a squeak of surprise and flinched, sending herself toppling over the edge of the bed.

Yellow Pearl made her way to the side of the bed and eyed Spinel oddly for a moment before speaking. “Yellow Diamond would like to speak with Spinel,” she stated. “She seemed to be asking Spinel about making plans for an event.” She then drew up a touchpad and handed it to Pink Pearl. “I’m sure you can get her up off the floor,” she said, jerking her head at Spinel. Pink Pearl had no time to reply before Yellow Pearl spun on her heels and was gone in the blink of an eye.

_ She’s always acting like she’s got somewhere incredibly important to be, but we all know she never leaves the house… and she doesn’t have an excuse like I do! _

Pink Pearl looked down at the screen, which was flashing yellow with  _ Incoming Diamond Communication _ displayed in all caps. Two buttons below the words read  _ Accept  _ and  _ Decline and Get Shattered. _

“They really should update these,” Pink Pearl muttered. She leaned over the side of the bed and tapped Spinel on the shoulder. “You can get up now. I have something for you. Yellow Diamond wants to talk to you.”

Spinel sat up, blinking adorably at Pink Pearl for a second. “Whaaat?” She grabbed the touchpad from Pink Pearl and looked at the screen. “Woah! Will I really get shattered if I say no?”

“What? No, of course not!” Pink Pearl said quickly. “That’s old. Like, two years old.”

“I’ve lived that three thousand times,” Spinel sniffed. She bounced onto the bed and pressed herself close to Pink Pearl, causing her roommate’s face to burn. 

Pink Pearl watched as Spinel clicked the Accept button. When Yellow Diamond appeared on the screen, Spinel grinned wide. “Hello!”

“Spinel!” Yellow Diamond said cheerfully. “My favorite little stretchy gem! How are you?”

“I’m great,” Spinel said politely.

“Good to know! So, Blue and White and eye were talking, and we decided on something. In four days, it will be your two-weeks-on-Homeworld anniversary-”

“It’s been two weeks already?” gasped Spinel.

“It has, it has!” Yellow Diamond laughed loudly, and Pink Pearl found herself wondering again why Yellow Diamond thought that everything Spinel did was so funny. Spinel was endearing, certainly, but she wasn’t  _ always  _ cracking jokes. There was more to her than her humor. 

“And we want to celebrate with you!” the Diamond continued. “The others and I have decided we’re going to throw a ball for you to celebrate your place here with us on Homeworld!”

“A  _ ball! _ I  _ love _ sports!”

Yellow Diamond snorted. “A sport? You mean, like a game? Spinel, little gem, it’s nothing like that. I wonder why… hmm. I do suppose you’ve never been to a ball before. I don’t recall Pink ever bringing her Spinel with her. She probably thought you wouldn’t like it. But the balls changed greatly since then! I’m sure you’d enjoy them now!”

“Okay,” Spinel said slowly, clearly discomforted by the mention of her former Diamond. “Then what is a ball?”

“More like a party than anything else. A very formal party, of course, with lots of dancing and fancy food, if you’re into that kind of thing.”

Spinel’s shoulders slumped. “I like food. But  _ dancing? _ I don’t know how to dance.”

“I can teach you,” Pink Pearl blurted out. Spinel swiveled her gaze to look at her roommate and Pink Pearl instantly felt regret coil up inside her.  _ What did I just say? _ To offer a dance to another Gem was considered an extremely personal and intimate gesture in today’s Homeworld since it was tied so closely to fusion. She and Spinel barely knew each other.  _ Maybe it doesn’t count if it’s just a dance lesson? _

“Um.” Spinel let out a nervous laugh. “Maybe- that’d be really nice, Pink. Uh- thank you so much!”

Relief washed over Pink Pearl.  _ She doesn’t know. Of course she doesn’t. For stars’ sake, she didn’t even know what a ball was. _

“You two!” Yellow Diamond howled. “You’re priceless! You get along so well!”

“We kind of connected on a personal level,” Pink Pearl muttered, half to herself.

Yellow Diamond clapped her hands. “Good! I’m happy for you. Anyway, now that we have everything figured out, I can start preparations! This is going to be huge, isn’t it? It’ll be the grandest celebration Homeworld’s ever seen! Finally, we have a pink gem on the throne at the balls again!”

Pink Pearl opened her mouth to bite back at the implications of Yellow Diamond’s statement, but then the screen flickered and Yellow Diamond was gone as if she’d known exactly what Pink Pearl was going to say.  _ Communication Line Ended. _

Spinel sighed, placing Yellow Pearl’s touchpad on the bed carefully. “Is that all she thinks of me as?” she murmured. “Just another stupid pink gem to sit on Pink Diamond’s stupid throne?”

“I… don’t know,” Pink Pearl admitted. 

“I don’t wanna be reminded of her everywhere I go! I just wanna be myself here! Not the… the  _ remains _ of a gem that ruined my life!” Spinel insisted. “It’s not fair. They might as well just make me a ruler of Homeworld at this rate. Everywhere I go, it’s just  _ Pink Diamond this, Pink Diamond that,  _ blah blah blah. But they never think of  _ me! _ ”

There were  _ tears _ in Spinel’s eyes, Pink Pearl noticed. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen her roommate cry- Spinel did have a tendency to get very emotional very quickly- but the sight still shattered Pink Pearl’s metaphorical heart. Seeing the tiny adorable gem upset felt like a slap o the face. Hadn’t Spinel been through enough?  _ The Diamonds don’t seem to think so, _ she thought bitterly. “Spinel…” she began.

Spinel sniffled. “Pink? Can I hug you?”

Despite herself, Pink Pearl’s chest lept at the request. “Always.” She welcomed Spinel openly into her arms, allowing the little gem to press her face into her soft fabric-covered shoulder. Spinel stayed there for a few minutes, her arms wrapped twice around Pink Pearl’s slim torso. Pink Pearl’s fingers carded gently through Spinel’s messy hair, hitting more than a few snarls. “I need to teach you how to take care of your hair,” she said playfully. 

“Really?” Spinel sniffed.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But maybe I could braid it, or curl it… it would be super pretty.”

“For the ball?”

Pink Pearl was surprised. “You still want to go? I thought Yellow...”

Spinel shrugged. “It’s fine. As long as you go with me.” She looked up at Pink with the widest, innocent eyes she could muster. “Will you go with me to the ball? Pleeeease?”

Pink Pearl smiled. “Of course. Every gem needs a proper date, after all. So I’ll be yours.” She put on an overexaggerated fancy accent. _ “My Spinel.” _

_ “My Pearl _ ,” Spinel echoed. She giggled faintly. “ _ My fellow fancy diplomatic gem _ .” She dropped the accent. “Do we have to talk that for the whole ball?”

“No.”

“Aww.”

“I mean…” Pink Pearl shrugged. “You can if you want to. But I certainly won’t be. And you might get odd looks from other gems if you talk like that!”

“Who cares?  _ I _ don’t have a social status to uphold,” Spinel said proudly, sitting up to look Pink Pearl in the eye. Her former energy seemed to have returned.

Pink Pearl looked away. “It’s fine. It’ll be odd enough as it is. A Spinel and a Pearl? Going to a ball together? Who ever would have dreamed…”

“What’s wrong with that?” Spinel asked, tilting her head to the side.

“It’s just-“ Pink Pearl struggled to explain. She knew that the social structure of Homeworld had changed at least slightly since she’d been… restored, but she wasn’t sure how. She’d been too scared to go beyond the square for two years in fear of seeing White Diamond, let alone attend a ball. She’d be awfully lonely at one anyway. It wasn’t like third wheeling Blue and Yellow Pearl was any fun. Perhaps Pearls were regarded a little bit more as  _ members of society _ now- she assumed that was the case, since Pearls owned the house she lived in and that had never been done before. But she couldn’t be completely sure. “Well, before the Diamonds realized that what they were doing was wrong, Pearls weren’t exactly allowed to attend events like this separate from their owners, let alone with a high ranking gem like a Spinel.”

Spinel drew in a breath. “I’m a high ranking gem?”

“Spinels are created to be personal companions of Diamonds. And not in the same way I was. You would be viewed as closer to an equal- an assistant, I guess. Pearls are servants. We are borderline  _ property. _ ” The last two sentences came out sounding much more bitter than Pink Pearl intended.

Spinel grabbed one of Pink Pearl’s wrists protectively. “Not anymore, you’re not! You’re your own gem, and a real swell one at that!” she promises. “If anyone tells you that you don’t belong with me at some dumb party they’ll have to get through me first!”

“Oh Spinel,” Pink Pearl said lightly. “Ever the charmer.”

“Weh-well,” Spinel stammered. “I do try.”

“You know what we should do, Spinel?”

Spinel shook her head, bringing herself out from her blushy stupor. “What?”

“We need to go clothes shopping!” Pink Pearl announced. “We can’t show up to a big party in these clothes. We need something fancier.”

“I think you look fine,” Spinel mumbled, tilting her head down to look away from Pink Pearl. “Dunno how good I’d look all snazzed up.”

“You’d look fabulous.”

“You really think so, huh?”

“I know so.”

As Pink Pearl sat there on her bed, looking at the other gem’s sheepish, adorable smile, a dangerous feeling rose slowly in her chest. She didn’t know what this feeling was, but perhaps that was for the better. Whatever it was- whatever was causing her stomach to flip when Spinel got this close to her- it could never end in anything good.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the gay increases...
> 
> ok first!! 300 kudos?? thank y’all so much omg. I never thought this would get this much attention omg
> 
> second!! I don’t reply to comments usually, but I always read them, and then I read them again, and then I read them again, and then I read them again, and then I read them again, and then I rea


	7. Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at midnight in one sitting. my apologies

_ My Spinel. My Spinel. My Spinel. _

Spinel turned the words around in her mind over and over again.  _ My Spinel. _ Picturing Pink Pearl’s delicate, gentle smile as she’d given her roommate that simple term of endearment sent a shiver down Spinel’s back. Lost in her thoughts, she grinned goofily, only vaguely aware that she was in public.  _ My Spinel. _

“Spinel?”

Snapping out of her fantasy, Spinel whirled around. “Huh?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m… fiine…” Spinel choked out, taking in the sight of the gem that stood in front of her. She couldn’t form any words beyond those two.

Pink Pearl gave Spinel a wide-eyed look. “You just look a little… dazed. This doesn’t look bad on me, does it?”

“No! Not at all!” Spinel insisted. She tore her eyes away from Pink Pearl’s briefly to stare at the cold tile ground. Pink Pearl looked fine. In fact, she looked more than fine in that pink, flowing dress that accented her delicate form and fell into a sparkling pool at her feet. She was straight-up  _ dazzling. _ “I think it looks great,” Spinel added, finally looking up again.

Pink Pearl’s face brightened. “Thank you! Do you think I should get it?”

“As long as you don’t think you’ll trip over it dancing,” Spinel half-joked. With as astonishing as Pink Pearl had looked in every dress she’d tried on so far, she could have picked something perfect out five or so dresses ago, but Spinel didn’t want their shopping trip together to end. It had been so nice- just the two of them sharing laughs and invaluable moments with each other without the stress of the past or memories or dreams hanging over their heads. So she’d insisted they stayed a little longer. Pink Pearl didn’t seem to mind.

_ A gem like her, wanting to hang around a silly old Spinel all day long. _ Spinel felt warm from her pigtails to the tips of her toes.  _ Wowee. _

Pink Pearl nodded. “I’ll be alright. I’m not really a super wild dancer,” she laughed. “I’m more of a slow dancer type. Not really going to trip if I’m barely moving my feet.”

“Ohhh,” Spinel murmured, thoroughly distracted by her own thoughts again. Pink Pearl slow dancing with Spinel in her beautiful dress? It was a welcome mental image.

“Don’t worry. I’ll teach you before the ball so you’ll be totally prepared. I figured we could go down to the ballroom today if you wanted.”

Spinel suddenly found herself sputtering. The idea seemed nice until she realized that Pink Pearl was being serious. “Oh, gee- I don’t think I’d be so good at that,” she laughed nervously. Pink Pearl couldn’t possibly want to teach Spinel to slow dance. Spinel didn’t know a lot about dancing, but what she did know was that slow dancing was a tad more intimate and personal than other types of dancing, and… Spinel would literally melt into a puddle thirty seconds into that dance lesson.

“I don’t have to teach you if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Pink Pearl fretted. She examined herself in the mirror behind Spinel and smoothed down her dress before shaking her head. “Maybe I shouldn’t go with this one.”

Before Pink Pearl could escape back into the dressing room behind her, Spinel reached out an arm and blocked her. “Wait!”

Pink Pearl blinked. “Yeah?”

“I think that dress looks gorgeous on you!” Spinel blurted. “It’s the prettiest I’ve seen you in, honest. Not to say the other ones haven’t been pretty, it’s just. Um. That one’s the best. Eleven on the pretty scale if the others are tens, I mean-”

“Spinel.” Pink Pearl took a step closer and laid a comforting hand on Spinel’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You can just say it. I won’t judge! I promise!”

“Okay.” Spinel took a deep breath. “I really really want you to teach me how to dance! I’m just nervous is all. You’re such a nice pretty gem, but me… sometimes I’m scared ‘bout going out in public where gems can see me all like this! I wanna dance with you. More than anything. But it’s real scary, you know?”

“Oh, Spinel.” Pink Pearl heaved a sigh and her one-eyed expression went soft. “You don’t have to worry about that at all. I’m more than happy to go to the ball with you. And if other gems see that, they won’t care.”

“Even though I look like this?” Spinel asked, her eyes going wide.

“They’ll be jealous of me for having such a beautiful friend,” Pink Pearl promised. She seemed to realize what she’d said after she said it and she hesitated a bit. “U-um,” she stuttered, face glowing pink. “I gotta go pay for this, so. You can keep looking for something if you’d like? Or you can come with me? I won’t be long.”

“I’ll keep looking,” Spinel decided, herself becoming a little flustered at Pink Pearl’s comment. (Was  _ this  _ how friends talked to each other? If so, it was exhausting. But at the same time Spinel really didn’t want it to stop.)

“Oh. Okay. See you in a bit, then.” Pink Pearl’s eyes darted around for a moment before she seemingly impulsively leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Spinel’s forehead. “Bye!” she called, turning and darting quickly into the changing room, slamming the door behind her.

_ This feeling. _ There it was again, Spinel realized. That same feeling she felt when Pink Pearl curled up around her at night, when Pink Pearl murmured soft reassurances and gently stroked Spinel’s hair, when Pink Pearl told her that other Gems would be jealous of her for having Spinel as a date.

She  _ really _ needed to know what all these feelings meant. They were becoming distractions. And if Spinel was going to dance her best, she could be distracted.

So who could she talk to that knew feelings?

Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl, maybe. But then, they’d probably be too busy “making out” (or whatever Pink Pearl had called it, with that vague look of disgust and perhaps even jealousy that she wore on her face) to talk to Spinel. Not that she could get much of a response out of either of them anyway. Yellow Pearl was straight-up impossible and Blue Pearl could barely talk. SO who else did Spinel know… she could always talk to the Diamonds, but talking to the Diamonds was even harder than talking to their former Pearls.

_ What about Steven? _

Spinel’s heart leapt. That was it. Steven would know! He knew about all sorts of otherworldly human  _ and  _ gem things. He’d be able to help her. And lucky for Spinel, she had access to a warp pad whenever she needed it, courtesy of the Diamonds. She’d ask Steven for help. And maybe he could even help her find an outfit for the ball.

“I forgot! I need to go to Earth and ask Steven something, so um. I’ll be back in a few hours!” Spinel yelled to Pink Pearl. “See ya in a bit!”

Spinel heard a faint “okay!” waft past the dressing room door before she spun on her heel and departed as fast as she could.

~

Spinel arrived in the Crystal Dome at the top of the beach house a half-hour later. Steven was nowhere in sight, so she made her way into the house, yelling “Steven! Steven! Steven, I need your help!” as she went. Stepping off the warp pad caused a shiver of familiarity to course through her as she recalled the day less than two weeks ago when she’d shown Steven for himself eventually what she’d been through, much to his not-surprise.

Spinel skidded to a halt at the bottom of the stairs and called out one final “Steven!” before noticing, to her delight, that the curly-haired boy was sitting on the couch talking quietly to a dark-skinned girl she’d recognized from their final fight- she couldn’t remember the girl’s name, though.

Steven glanced up at Spinel and gave her a friendly grin. “Hey, Spinel. Didn’t expect to see you around here. What’s up?”

Spinel fidgeted with her gloves. “Oh. Nothing much. Just, uh-”

“Here, come sit.” Steven scooted a bit closer to the other girl and threw his arm around her shoulder. Spinel sat down next to Steven nervously, envying his open display of affection to his friend. 

“How are the Diamonds?” Steven asked. “Are they being annoying? Was I right about them not being easy to get along with? How’s the palace-”

“The Diamonds are fine,” Spinel interrupted before Steven could bombard her with more questions she didn’t know the answer to. “I don’t spend a lot of time with them. I don’t actually live at the palace. When they said they had a room for me- they were lying.”

“Sounds about right,” Steven muttered under his breath. “So where are you staying? You do have somewhere to stay, right?”

“I’m staying with the Diamonds’ old Pearls. They have their own little house in the middle of a small town they call the Pearl House. It’s really nice. The Pearls are great- especially Pink Pearl.” Spinel felt her face begin to burn. “She’s the sweetest.”

“Ahh.” A knowing glint twinkled in Steven’s eye, though Spinel didn’t know what he could be so knowing about. “How are you dealing with the other two? Has Blue spoken to you yet? Is Yellow being nice?” 

Spinel let out the smallest of giggles despite her nervousness at coming to ask Steven of all people for advice. “Blue talks a little bit. Yellow’s no worse to me than anyone else. It probably helps that I knew them a long long time ago. You know, back when I didn’t look weird,” she joked.

“You don’t look weird!” Steven exclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah. But anyway, I…” Spinel trailed off. “I came to ask you for advice. And for a suit.”

Steven raised an eyebrow. “Well, I can get you a suit from Pearl. Advice though, hmmm… what do you need help with?”

The other girl, who’d remained silent thus far, spoke up. “Is this about this Pink Pearl you mentioned?” she asked lightly. “Your face got so red when you mentioned her-”

“Connie!” Steven laughed.

“What? No!” Spinel feigned shock. “Of course it’s not about her. I know all about her. I don’t not understand her or my feelings toward her at all.”

“Sure. But really. You’re acting like Steven before I asked him out,” Connie insisted. “There’s something going on between you and this gem. But by all means,” she added lazily, leaning back into the couch, “tell Steven what you need advice about.”

Steven snorted indignantly. “Hey, I’m the one who asked  _ you _ out!”

“Maybe it was mutual,” Connie decided.

“Guess so.” Steven turned back to Spinel. “Go ahead.”

Spinel reached up and grabbed at her pigtails. “Okay, so maybe Connie’s right,” she admitted through clenched teeth. “Pink Pearl makes me feel weird. I don’t get it at all! I never felt like this around any other gem!”

Steven nodded. “Sounds familiar. Elaborate.”

“Sometimes,” Spinel went on, her voice tiny, “she cuddles up to me when we’re sleeping and I get this feeling in my chest- oh, and it happened today when we were out shopping for outfits for the ball and then she kissed me on the forehead-”

Steven put his hands up to shush Spinel. “Stop,” he said. “Okay, rewind a little bit. You guys are going to a ball together. As dates.”

“I guess.”

“And I haven’t been invited to this ball yet.”

“...Sorry?”

“And Pink Pearl just straight up kissed you.”

“On the forehead.” Spinel paused. “Not quite like what Yellow and Blue Pearl do.”

“Aha!” Steven exclaimed. “That’s where you’re wrong! I figured it out!”

“This Pink Pearl sounds like quite the flirt. She sounds funny. I’d like to meet her sometime,” Connie commented.

“What do you mean, Steven?” Spinel asked.

“She  _ is  _ doing it like Yellow and Blue do. Or at least with the same intention,” explained Steven. “I think Pink Pearl’s in  _ loooooove.  _ And I think you are, too!”

Spinel flinched. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind by then, but she was scared by how hard-hitting Steven’s words were. She didn’t want him to be right. She  _ hated  _ feelings. “I’m not a sappy sap like Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl are. I’m not in love with anyone,” she denied. “And neither is Pink Pearl. And if she is, it’s not with me.”

Steven hummed. “Betcha you would be a sappy sap if Pink Pearl was being a sappy sap with you.”

“Would  _ not. _ ” Spinel was blushing furiously.

“Would too.”

Deep down, Spinel knew Steven was right. She bristled.  _ I wouldn’t admit that to him in six thousand years. _

“You’ve got to tell her.”

Spinel brought her knees up to her chest. “Can’t,” she muttered. “Scary.”

“I guarantee you she feels the same way,” Connie assured Spinel. “From just the little bit that you told me… she’s probably head-over-heels.”

Spinel looked away. 

“Come on,” Steven chided. “You can do it this afternoon. I’ll come with you. I’ll be your emotional support! Woohoo! Go Spinel! Go Spinel!”

“It’s tempting,” Spinel admitted. “But I just don’t think I can. Pink Pearl… I don’t deserve someone like her. She’s so smart and beautiful and understanding. I’m just Spinel.” Her shoulders slumped. “And that’s the worst thing to be.”   
Steven shrugged. “Knowing Pink Pearl, she’s probably saying the exact same thing about herself.”

Spinel sniffed. “You think so? It’s so untrue, though...”

“I know so,” Steven beamed. “Come on, Spinel. You know it’s not true. You have to be the one to show her.”

“I guess,” Spinel said unenthusiastically. But she had to admit- as crazy as Steven’s idea seemed, it didn’t seem all that impossible. 

There was just one tiny problem- Spinel knew that she was practically imperfect as a gem could her, and Pink Pearl was the polar opposite.

She knew she was great at games, but there was one thing Spinel was sure she could never win, and that was Pink Pearl’s heart.


	8. Advice II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hated the last chapter so here’s a speed written one I did in one day to make up for it

“Where’d you say she went, again?” Yellow Pearl asked, her arms crossed.

“She told me she went to Earth.” Pink Pearl shrugged. “To ask Steven for something. Didn’t say what.”

“Maybe she went to Earth Pearl for dancing lessons?” Blue Pearl suggested. “You did mention to me that she was nervous about dancing.”

“She wouldn’t do that. She promised she’d let me teach her…” Pink replied absentmindedly. Maybe… Blue was right? Spinel  _ had  _ seemed nervous about dancing at the ball. It made sense that she’d seek guidance from someone more experienced than Pink Pearl was.

Yellow Pearl groaned, covering her eyes with her hands and leaning back more comfortably into the couch. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter what she’s doing. She’ll be home eventually.”

“You’re right. She’s fine,” Pink Pearl sighed. “Whatever she did on Earth went fine. And she’ll be back home to us safe and sound soon. Unless... she accidentally warped to the palace and got caught up with the Diamonds and they’re harassing her again. Or she got captured by an anti-dismantling rebellion group and they’re going to sacrifice her. Or she met up with a leftover corrupted gem that the Diamonds didn’t catch and she’s fighting for her life with no one to help her-”

“Pink, she’s only been gone for an hour,” Blue Pearl said calmly. “I promise she’ll be fine.”

“ _ Anything  _ can happen in an hour!”

“It’s just like having Earth Pearl back. Nonstop worrying,” muttered Yellow. 

“Would you rather I  _ didn’t  _ care about our roommate?”

Blue Pearl, who sat between Yellow and Pink Pearl, laid a comforting hand on Pink Pearl’s shoulder. “We know you care,” she assured her. “But Spinel is more than capable of taking care of herself. I know you really care for her, but you have to trust that she knows what she’s doing. It’s true- it’s a big scary galaxy out there- but Spinel knows that. She’s just warping to Earth and back. I promise. Besides- she wouldn’t get herself lost-”

“Or whatever irrational things you’re worried about,” interjected Yellow.

Blue lifted her bangs and shot Yellow a glare before turning back to Pink. “She wouldn’t get herself lost if she knows it means not coming home to you,” she continued.

Pink perked up a bit. “I guess you’re right.”

“Blech.” Yellow Pearl waved a dismissive hand. “You two might as well just get married already.”

Even underneath her bangs, Pink Pearl could tell Blue Pearl was horrified. “Yellow! I can’t marry Pink! I’m already with you!”

“I thought only humans did that kind of stuff,” Pink said quietly.

Yellow Pearl sighed. “I’m not talking about  _ you,  _ Blue. I’m talking about Pink and Spinel. Honestly. I’m tired of watching those two mooning around after each other for the past two weeks and  _ not doing anything about it. _ ”

Pink Pearl froze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know very well what I’m talking about,” Yellow retorted. “Don’t pretend that whenever I walk into your room you and Spinel aren’t wrapped up around each other like some failed fusion dance. It’s pretty obvious. You practically get heart eyes whenever she’s around. And she  _ literally _ gets heart eyes whenever you’re around.” 

Pink Pearl scoffed. “You-you’re just saying that,” she stammered. “Spinel would never- would never think of me like that.”

“You think I’d lie to you, then?” Yellow responded quizzically.

Pink Pearl opened her mouth, but she wasn’t sure how to respond. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but Yellow Pearl’s blunt honesty about everything was pretty obvious to everyone- in fact, it had caused her several threats of cracking from her old Diamond. But Yellow Pearl wouldn’t be honest about this, would she? Pink Pearl was her friend- or at least pretty to being a friend as she could get- and friends were supposed to make other friends feel safe and loved. Denying that Spinel shared Pink Pearl’s feelings would be the exact opposite of what she was supposed to do.

That was, assuming Pink Pearl even  _ had  _ these feelings in the first place.

Maybe she was thinking too far into it. 

“I don’t even know how I feel,” Pink Pearl admitted after a moment of silence, “so I doubt you do either.”

Yellow Pearl sniffed and turned her nose up. “Well, okay. If you think you know yourself better than I do.”

“I’m just confused, is all.”

“And that’s totally okay!” Blue Pearl peeped up. “I was really confused at first too. Feelings are kind of complicated, especially since we haven’t really been allowed to feel them for very long. I’m still trying to make sense of them myself.” She shot a side-eyed look at Yellow. “I think we  _ all  _ are.”

“And once you figure yourself out, there’s no sense in just admitting that you’re completely infatuated with Spinel,” Yellow chided, and Blue giggled. Pink Pearl merely let out a groan, burying her face in her hands.

“I don’t even know what you see in her,” Yellow went on. “She’s really weird. Granted, I’ve never before had the pleasure of making an acquaintance with a Spinel, but I’m sure they’re not all like that.” 

“She told me there are only four,” Pink said, her voice still muffled in her hands.

“Why  _ do  _ you like her so much?”

Pink Pearl lifted her head from her hands and shrugged. “She… makes me laugh.”

“See, you admitted it. You’re in love with her.”

A fire sparked within Pink Pearl’s abdomen. “Am not!” she snapped. “I just meant- like a friend. I like her like a friend.”

Blue Pearl gave a small laugh. “You probably wish you could have one of those cheesy romances like in those human shows you’re so into,” she teased.

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Don’t forget, Blue, they’re each other’s dates for the ball next week,” Yellow Pearl put in, a shard-eating grin plastered across her face.

Blue squealed. “Oooh! You’re going as  _ dates?  _ You guys are going to  _ dance  _ together! It’s going to be so  _ romantic! _ ”

“We’re just friends. There’s nothing romantic about Spinel tripping over her ridiculous shoes for a few hours,” Pink sighed. She shook her head and allowed herself a small smile at that mental image. Silly Spinel and her endearing giant boots.  _ She really is so wonderful... _

“Look, she’s smiling,” Yellow deadpanned. “What a great liar.  _ Not in love with Spinel  _ my gem.”

Pink Pearl snapped back into reality, flustering quickly. “Am-am not,” she defended herself. 

“You were too. You had the stupidest look on your face just now. You know, I’d be ashamed if I ever acted like that.”

“You do act like that,” Blue Pearl muttered.

“Just between me and you, Bloops,” Yellow murmured, winking and shoving Blue gently with her elbow. “But anyway. We’ve got to do something about your situation.”

“I told you. I don’t like Spinel as anything more than a friend,” Pink Pearl repeated, though she was starting to realize that perhaps her reoccurring lie, the one she told herself over and over again that felt almost like being trapped in someone else’s mind- wasn’t really true. It was all adding up now: the butterflies, the constant need for closeness, the unrivaled levels of adoration, the need for reassurance that Spinel was safe… 

_ Oh no. _ The realization hit Pink Pearl like a ship moving at the speed of light. Yellow and Blue were right.  _ This isn’t good. _

This couldn’t happen.

But it was too late.

_I can’t be in love with Spinel._ _A gem like me, in love with a gem like her- it would never work out._

“We could never work,” Pink Pearl blurted out loud. “I won’t let myself love her. I can’t do that to myself.”

“Unfortunately, dear Pink, that is not the kind of thing you can simply control,” Yellow stated. “Controlling your feelings has been out of the question since the beginning.”

“I’ve only known her for a little bit- maybe it’ll go away?” Pink Pearl said frantically. She stood up and started to pace back in forth in front of the couch, threading her fingers through the buns on either side of her head. “Or I’ll make it go away on my own. For once- for just once in my life I want to be the one to control the way I feel!”

“You are in complete control of yourself,” Blue Pearl assured her. “Your heart knows what’s right. It’s doing what’s right for you.”

“That’s the  _ problem!  _ I don’t  _ have _ a heart!”

“Metaphorically,” Yellow offered.

Pink Pearl stopped pacing. She let her hands fall to her sides and she let out a deep sigh. “Then why can’t I just tell the nonexistent thing in my chest to make the feelings go away.”

Yellow Pearl shook her head. “My Diamond once told me that a gem cannot love foolishly. It is not in its programming. Other more inferior species, like humans, choose their objects of interest unwisely, but a gem simply does not have that ability. Of course, not every gem will return your affection, but there is always something to be learned from love.” She cleared her throat. “I do not know how true that it. Forgive my Diamond for being horribly cheesy.”

“ _ Yellow  _ said that?” Blue Pearl gasped. “As in,  _ Yellow Diamond? _ ”

“She was most likely referring to your Diamond, Blue,” Yellow Pearl informed her.

“Oh.”

“So Yellow Diamond has some corny philosophy about love. That isn’t going to stop me from trying to get rid of these feelings,” Pink Pearl said determinedly. “It’ll be better for me in the long run. I’ll leave the relationship issues to the humans on the TV.”

“Spinel would be very disappointed to learn that you don’t return her affections,” Blue Pearl guessed.

“She’ll never know I have them, then. I don’t even know that I have them! It’s just peer pressure from you two that made me think it’s a possibility,” Pink Pearl huffed.

“It’s more than a possibility,” Yellow remarked. She gave a few impatient taps of her show before Pink Pearl saw her face light up with an idea. “Ooh! I know!” she crowed.

Pink Pearl groaned. “Know what?”

Yellow Pearl puffed out her chest. “Being the intelligent gem that I am, I know what to do about this situation of yours!”

“And what would that be?”

“So you know that fusion? Back on Earth?” Yellow Pearl laughed. “Oh, stars, who am I kidding. Of course you do. You know, the one made of a Ruby and a Sapphire. I bet she could give you some sound advice about gem relationships. Why don’t we go there? And if we’re lucky, we’ll run into Spinel so you can stop worrying about all that.”

Pink Pearl hesitated. “I… guess it’s not a bad idea,” she said slowly. And she did hope to see Spinel again. Regardless of how she felt about Spinel.

“Good thing we installed that warp pad in the backyard last yeat!” Blue Pearl chirped. 

“Another genius move from Yellow Pearl!” bragged Yellow, and Pink Pearl rolled her eyes.

_ That was just as much my idea as it was hers. _

~

“Oh! This is new!” Yellow Pearl exclaimed as she stepped off the warp pad. “They didn’t have this whole dome before. Very stylish.”

Pink Pearl followed Yellow tentatively, glancing around at her surroundings. It did look different. Granted, she had only come to visit Earth once after she’d been free from White so that she could thank Steven, but her nervousness and the unsteadiness of being back on her own legs drove her home quickly. 

“It looks nice,” was all she said.

She followed Yellow into the house and down a set of wooden stairs. Blue Pearl, who trailed behind her, pointed delightedly on the pictures that adorned the wall. “These drawings are so realistic!” she whispered excitedly. 

Just before they came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, Pink Pearl heard voices drifting up from what she guessed was the living room. She strained her ear to hear, and was surprised when she recognized two of them.

“...know it’s not true. You have to be the one to show her.” That sounded like Steven.

“I guess,” came the unenthusiastic reply. Pink Pearl drew in a gasp.  _ Spinel! _ She was here after all! What was she talking to Steven about?

“ _ Steveeeeen!” _

Pink Pearl nearly crashed into Yellow’s back as the other Pearl came to an abrupt stop at the bottom of the staircase. “Steven, I’m here to visit!” Yellow announced in the most sing-songy voice she could muster.

Spinel’s surprised gaze met Pink Pearl’s at the exact same time. “What are you guys doing here?” Spinel squeaked, instinctively reaching out and latching onto Steven’s shoulder for stability.

_ She seems embarrassed! _

“Pink Pearl would like to talk to Garnet,” Yellow Pearl explained, “but I suppose you’ll do for now.”

“Cool.” Steven blinked, unfazed. “What for?”

None of the Pearls said a word, but when Yellow Pearl’s eyes flicked from Spinel to Pink Pearl and back again, Steven seemed to understand.

“Oh, come  _ on!” _ he yelled. He gave a frustrated yank on his jacket. “Why am I stuck dealing with all your problems? First Spinel, now you! Will it ever end?”

“Steven, really, you don’t have to do anything-” Pink Pearl began.

Steven heaved a sigh. “You’re right. I’ll get Garnet.” He pushed himself off the couch and meandered away to the temple doors, his gem admitting him through, and he quickly disappeared behind the wall of crystal.

Pink Pearl was surprised when Spinel rushed up to her fast as lightning, pressing herself as close to Pink as it seemed possible. Pink stumbled backward from the force of Spinel’s hug.

“Pink!” Spinel yelled. “I missed you so much! Did you get your dress okay?”

Pink Pearl smiled, resting her hand on the small of Spinel’s back. “Yeah, I did. And I missed you too.”

Yellow Pearl coughed out a not-so-discreet  _ it’s only been an hour  _ from behind Pink’s back, but Spinel didn’t seem to hear it.

Spinel’s presence was beyond comforting, but as Steven reappeared from the temple with Garnet in tow, Pink Pearl couldn’t help but wonder- what had Steven and Spinel been discussing so urgently just a few moments before?

  
  



	9. Change

“Pink Pearl? Steven told me you wanted to talk to me.”

Spinel felt Pink Pearl slowly step back from their embrace, leaving Spinel standing a tad dejectedly with no one to hold on to anymore. “Yeah?” she called back to Garnet without taking her eyes off Spinel. Spinel blinked pleadingly at Pink Pearl, but Pink Pearl shook her head.

“I’ll be back in a moment, Spinel. I promise,” she whispered before darting off.

Spinel was surprised to find herself nodding. _ I believe you. _

Garnet gestured for Pink Pearl to follow her into the temple, and Pink did so obediently. Watching Pink get swallowed up by the solid crystal wall made a twinge of nervousness shoot through Spinel’s chest, but she pushed it down with a surge of determination. “She _ will _ be back,” she repeated to herself, out of earshot of anyone else.

Steven watched the two gems disappear with an unreadable expression on his face. “Well, that gets me another hour without being a gem relationship therapist,” he sighed, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket and scuffing at the ground with his feet. 

Spinel glanced up at Steven, confused. “What does that mean?” she asked. “What’s a therapist?”

“Something you could really use,” Steven replied grimly. He chuckled a bit as if he’d made a joke. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s take you to get your suit, huh? I know Pearl has one. It should fit you. And if it doesn’t, you can stretch.”

Steven pulled his phone out of his pocket and began a message to Pearl. “Wow!” Spinel gasped, peering over his shoulder. “What is _ that?” _

Steven didn’t look up. “It’s called a phone. You can send messages and call people that are far away.”

Spinel’s eyes went wide with astonishment. “Whaaaat? That’s so cool! I wish Homeworld had communication devices that small.l. Don’t you lose it?”

“Not if you’re responsible with it.” He finished his message and clicked the send button. Spinel could see that it read _ “spinels here. she needs a suit bc there’s gonna be a ball on hw soon apparently lol. first time weve ever not been invited to one of those, maybe a good thing??? anyway where are u” _

It only took a few seconds for a gray bubble to pop up underneath Steven’s message. Spinel found the little gray blinking dots inside the bubble mesmerizing. “She’s typing a response now,” Steven explained.

Spinel grinned. “Earth’s got it all.”

Steven laughed. “Almost all. You’ve still got one up on us with the spaceships, though.”

It was then that Pearl’s message came in. Keeping her chin balanced on Steven’s shoulder, Spinel read it quickly, and couldn’t help but laugh. Pearl’s formal, flowery language was odd to her, especially when she compared it to that of the other Pearls she knew. Steven’s Pearl was clearly a very unique Pearl.

_ “Dear Steven, _

_ In regards to your texting grammar: Spinel’s.* Because.* Going to.* Homeworld.* We’ve.* You.* Also, what is a lol? You send it in a lot of your messages and I don’t understand it. _

_ I am on my way back from the store, where I picked up things to cook for your dinner. I will be home in about two minutes. Yes, I am driving. It is okay that I am texting you because I am very shatter-resistant and a good driver. I am not going to crash. I will get you the suit as soon as I have arrived and have put the groceries away. _

_ Love, Pearl.” _

Once he’d read the message, Steven sighed and presses a button on the top of his phone to turn it off. “I don’t think she gets it,” he said simply, and Spinel nodded in understanding despite the fact that she didn’t understand. She did think it was funny that Pearl had corrected Steven’s grammar, though. From what she’d observed from the Crystal Gems, Earth gems were hilarious in their eccentrics. 

“I’ve tried telling her that she doesn’t have to sign off every text that she sends me- yes, even the ones that just say _ okay _\- but nope, she has to be extra about it,” Steven stuffed his phone in his pocket. “Guess that’s just Pearl, huh? I bet none of your Pearls are like that.”

Spinel shrugged, only half-listening. She was feigning her attention to Steven by this point- his ramblings were of no concern to her. Instead, she intently watched the entrance to the Crystal Temple, waiting for Garnet and Pink Pearl to reappear. What could Pink Pearl have needed so urgently to talk to Garnet about?

A sudden wave of fear flashed through her chest. It didn’t have anything to do with _ her, _did it? Had she done something wrong?

_ Maybe Steven knows. _

Humming a bright tune so as not to seem too worried about anything, Spinel poked Steven in the side experimentally. “Boop,” she chirped.

Steven flinched. “Spinel?” 

“What’s Pink Pearl doing?” Spinel asked innocently.

“Um.” Steven’s eyes went wide and he glanced away awkwardly, pursing his lips as if he was restraining himself from saying something he shouldn’t. “She- well- there’s just some stuff going on that she needs to talk to someone about. Don’t worry about it. She’s fine.”

Spinel blinked. “Does it have something to do with me?”

Steven went even redder and he took a step back. “What? No! Of course it doesn’t!”

“Are you _ sure?” _ Spinel tilted her chin up so she could look Steven straight in the eye. “You seem kinda _ nervous. _ ” Steven’s sudden wariness toward her made her wince a little- the last thing she wanted was to intimidate him, especially after everything they’d been through together- but she _ had _to find out what Pink Pearl was doing. And this was the only way she knew how.

“It has nothing to do with you,” Steven insisted. His voice was squeaky. _ He’s lying. _

_ He’s no better than his mother. _

A hot flame of rage ignited suddenly in Spinel’s core and she mentally threw all her regret of scaring Steven out the window. Steven_ was _ lying to her. She knew it. She may have not had a ton of human interaction during her existence- but she knew. And no one was going to lie to her. Not again. She bared her teeth and growled, a low, threatening sound, and stepped closer to Steven. “You know what Pink’s doing!” she snarled. “You know why she’s talking to Garnet instead of me! Even though Pink and I tell each other everything! It’s because I messed up, didn’t I? I did something to make Pink uncomfortable! Maybe she found out I love her, and she’ll never speak to me again! And it’s all because _ you _ won’t tell me what’s going on that _ I _ won’t be able to fix it!”

Steven was frozen. Spinel watched his memories flicker across his face- memories of the last time she’d had him backed up like this, powerless and completely at her mercy. She could see Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl in her peripherals, frozen to the spot, with horrified expressions that matched Steven’s. Blinded by her anger, Spinel didn’t care. They were just an audience, just like last time. _ How ‘bout a front row seat? _ Oh, they had one, all right.

“I-” Steven began.

Spinel instinctively enlarged herself so that she now stood a head taller than Steven did. _ Who’s the ultra-powerful gem now? _ “You _ all _ think you can just tell me things that aren’t true with _ no _repercussions, because I’m so sweet and loving now,” she snapped. “Well, news flash, genius, this side of me’s still here! If you think you’re going to get away with lying to me just like you’re mother did, you can’t!”

Steven took a deep breath and summoned a gigantic pink bubble, knocking Spinel and the Pearls a few feet away. “_ ENOUGH!” _

Spinel was knocked onto her back with a thud, deflating back to her original size. She groaned and sat up, rubbing the now-sore back of her head. When she moved to get up, she saw Steven standing over her, his eyes as cold as ice. Suddenly Spinel’s strong-gem persona was gone.

As he glared down at her, Steven spoke. His voice was barely audible. 

“I am _ nothing _like my mother.”

A wave of shame washed over Spinel and she melted into a puddle, burying her face in her hands. A soft sob escaped her, but Steven didn’t subside.

Where was Pink Pearl to wrap Spinel up in her arms when Spinel needed her?

“I did it again,” Spinel choked out. “I messed up again. And I- I’ll keep messing up. I can’t- I’m so- I can’t have friends. I’m just too bad. ‘Bout everything. Can’t get nothing right, can I?”

“Steven warned me she’d be bad, but I didn’t know she’d be quite like this,” Yellow Pearl muttered quietly, clearly not fearing for her life anymore.

Spinel was too devastated to even be angry that Steven had warned Yellow Pearl about her. She was angry only with herself. She’d messed herself up so bad.

A pair of slim hands nestled themselves between Spinel’s shoulder blades but immediately retracted themselves. “I’m so sorry,” a soft voice fretted. _ Blue Pearl. _ “Is it okay if I touch you?”

Spinel nodded and felt some of the tension in her back fall away. “Don’t listen to Yellow,” the voice mumured soothingly. _ Blue Pearl. _ “So you’re not perfect. But it’s okay. None of us are. You’ve proved yourself time and again to be a worthy friend, Spinel. Any gem would be lucky to know you.”

Spinel sniffed. “But I get so mad,” she sighed. “I’m gonna hurt someone someday. And I don’t want that. But I know it’s gonna happen. ”

Blue Pearl shook her head. “It won’t happen if you don’t want it to. I know you, Spinel. You’re a gem of good conscience.”  
“Yeah, right.”

“You are!” Blue insisted. “We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. Sometimes they’re things we think could harm other gems. Even I have that. But I know myself, and I know that I’m a good gem, and with that knowledge, I can overcome anything.”

“And I thought Pink was the only Pearl with a talent for cheesy spiels.”  
Blue giggled. “See? There’s our Spinel. There’s the _ real _Spinel.”

Spinel leaned back into Blue’s touch. “Thanks, I guess.”

Just then there was the sound of a door opening and closing behind Spinel and Blue, and Spinel turned her head weakly to see Steven’s Pearl enter with armfuls full of strange, stretchy-looking bags. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of Spinel puddled out on the floor with Blue hovering over her and Yellow and Steven standing a comfortable distance away.

“Is this a bad time?” Pearl asked.

Steven gave a mirthless laugh. “Maybe a bit.”

“Do you still need the suit?”

Steven shrugged and glanced at Spinel. “I think so.”

Pearl nodded. “I’ll leave you be. Be right back. Yell if you need anything.”

After setting the odd bags on the kitchen counter, Pearl retreated into her own room in the Temple, leaving the four remaining gems in silence.

Not ten seconds later, the temple door reopened, and while she expected to see Pearl, Spinel was pleasantly surprised by a leap in her chest and the reappearance of Pink Pearl and Garnet. The two looked calm in comparison to the gems gathered around Spinel. It was like they’d just been engaging in friendly, inconsequential conversation.

“Pink- Pink Pearl,” Spinel rasped, her voice rough from crying.

Pink Pearl’s eye came to rest on Spinel and her dainty gloved hands came to cover her mouth as she let out a gasp. “Spinel? Are you alright?”

Spinel couldn’t force herself to look back at Pink Pearl as the Pearl hurried to Spinel’s side and came to a rest on her knees. She put her arms protectively around Spinel and entangled her fingers in Spinel’s hair. “Oh, of course you’re not, who am I kidding. What happened? Please tell me, Spinel. If you’re comfortable.”

“I-” Spinel took a deep breath. “I messed up everything,” she sobbed. Gripping the back of Pink’s shirt, she let all her pent up sadness and frustration out, finally knowing she was safe in her beloved Pearl’s embrace. “I was so worried. I thought you were talking about me in there with Garnet. I thought I’d messed everything up. I thought you were never gonna talk to me again- and then I got scared, and I lashed out at Steven, Pink, and I scared him so bad and then I realized, I’m still a bad gem. I still haven’t changed. And I’m not gonna. I’m just gonna keep hurting gems!” Spinel wailed miserably. “I can’t do this!”

“No, no.” Pink Pearl sat back and put her hand under Spinel’s chin, tilting it up so she could look Spinel in the eyes. “None of that is true. You’re such a good gem,” she soothed. She rubbed her thumb gently over the black marks on Spinel’s face, wiping Spinel’s tears. “And that’s why you’re so… so dear to me. I can see right through all the anger and the frustration and sadness. And underneath that, I see Spinel. The beautiful gem I’m lucky to call my friend.” Then Pink smiled the softest of smiles, and Spinel felt herself melt.

Spinel realized suddenly how close Pink Pearl was to her, and with a jolt, remembered just that morning, when Pink had pressed a brief kiss to her friend’s forehead before rushing off to buy her dress. It had made Spinel feel all kinds of emotions, but most noticeably: _ do it again. _

And now Pink Pearl was that close. 

If only they could be closer.

And yet, despite all Spinel’s dreaming, their moment just had to be interrupted by a loud ringing coming from Yellow Pearl’s general direction. Spinel whipped her head up to glare angrily at her.

“Sorry,” Yellow grumbled. “Call from my Diamond.” She perked up a bit and gave the touchpad that had materialized in front of her a tap. “My Diamond!” 

Yellow Diamond’s voice cut through the air around the gems. “Pearl. Where are you?”

“Um.” Yellow Pearl glanced around nervously. “On… Earth?” she offered.

Yellow Diamond sighed. “Well alright then. But you might want to hurry back.”

“Why?”

“Because White and Blue and I have discovered something called _ teamwork, _” Yellow Diamond explained. “Apparently, it makes long processes go by much faster. And thanks to our teamwork, we’ve been able to make a change in Homeworld’s upcoming schedule.”

Yellow Pearl blinked. “What change?”

“We,” Yellow Diamond said proudly, “are moving the ball to tonight!”


	10. Preparation

“What?” Yellow Pearl squawked indignantly at her screen. “What do you mean you’re moving the ball up to tonight? Do you have any idea how long it takes me to prepare for this sort of thing? Hours! It takes me  _ hours! _ ”

“Well, why put it off when we could just do it tonight and make every gem happy?” Yellow Diamond replied. “You must be very excited for it, aren’t you? I’m doing you a favor, you know.”

Yellow Pearl sniffed disdainfully. “I am not excited to go to a ball that I’m completely unprepared for. Imagine me, walking into a lavish Homeworld ball wearing only  _ this! _ ” She gestured to her plain outfit. “Oh, the glares I’d receive. I really don’t need that negative attention from other gems.”

“I do think that we could use a little more time to get around,” Pink Pearl put in, unaware if Yellow Diamond could hear her.

“I’m sorry, Pearl, but we’re already setting everything up right now. If we tell the Aquamarines to postpone everything it’ll take us  _ hours  _ to get everything redecorated and whatnot,” Yellow Diamond exclaimed exasperatedly. “Blue, White, and I expect the presence of our Pearls in three earth hours’ time to stand beside us and welcome the guests to the ball. And, since this is Spinel’s ball, I would like her to take Pink’s throne for the beginning of the night, and have Pink’s old Pearl with her.”

Yellow Pearl grimaced. “Stand beside you? I’m not your Pearl anymore!”

“You may no longer be a servant, but there are some traditions that will never change,” Yellow Diamond replied simply. 

Yellow Pearl stuck her tongue out at the screen. “So you want me to suffer,” she snarked. “So be it. We’ll be there.” Then she tapped the screen to end the call and put the screen away.

Spinel turned her face over to Pink Pearl, looking just as shocked as Pink Pearl felt. “I’m gonna be a  _ DIAMOND?” _ Spinel gasped. “Wowee, what an honor! Even if the Diamond I’m gonna be totally sucks!”

“I believe it’s just for the night,” Pink Pearl muttered. “You’ll just be Spinel again by morning.”

“Still. I get a  _ throne!  _ And a best Pearl friend all for myself!”

Pink Pearl laughed. “Don’t get too excited. It’s just for a bit, and it's a very short throne. They renovated it for Steven so he could sit in it, even though he… never did.”

Spinel grinned. “I’m gonna have the best Pearl ever,” she bragged, seemingly to no one in particular.

Pink Pearl flushed red. “Well, you seem to be feeling better.”

“I got a little scared,” Spinel admitted. “But _ you _ made me feel better.”

“Is that all it takes?” Pink Pearl mused. Maybe what Garnet had told her was true.

_ You two are a conversation. Talk to her, and if she replies with good intentions, keep her. _ Garnet’s advice often seemed a little cryptic, but Pink Pearl figured she understood it well enough.

Yellow Pearl, from the other side of the living room, gave an exaggerated cough. “Are you two going to keep sitting there and staring into each other’s eyes for hours or are we going to go back to Homeworld so we can actually get around?” she snapped. 

Pink Pearl froze in embarrassment. “I’m not-” she began. She glanced over at Spinel for backup, but Spinel was now staring obstinately at the ground, avoiding looking at her friend. “I’m not doing that,” Pink Pearl insisted.

“Mhm.” Yellow seemed unconvinced. “Whatever. I’m going home. You can follow or you can be late… your choice.” She shrugged her skinny shoulders before grabbling Blue Pearl’s hand and dragging her back up the stairs.

“Oh boy,” Pink Pearl huffed under her breath, watching them go. She stood up, giving Spinel’s shoulder a double tap as she rose. “Are you still okay to go tonight? I know this afternoon has been… rough for you.”

Spinel jumped up quick as a flash and sidled right up next to Pink. “Of course I wanna go!” she exclaimed. “I still really wanna dance with you!”

Pink Pearl grinned. “Even though you don’t know how?”

“Even though I don’t know how.”

“Then it’ll be all the more fun.”

~

After retrieving a suit from Steven’s Pearl (which made Pink Pearl blush imaging Spinel in) Pink Pearl and Spinel hastily warped back to Homeworld. They were greeted by Blue and Yellow, who were zipping up each other’s outfits in the middle of the living room with such haste that it seemed the ball was only five minutes from starting (it was actually two hours away, Pink reminded them), and Yellow Pearl frantically yelled at them to get ready anyway as they stepped off the warp pad that was conveniently built next to the couch.

“I’m telling you. We have time.” Spinel waved her hand dismissively.

“About enough time to prepare a trash can for a ball,” Yellow spat back.

“Don’t know why she’s so concerned about what we’re doing,” Pink Pearl whispered as she guided Spinel up to their room and out of earshot from Yellow.

Spinel shrugged. “She’s just a caring friend.”

Pink scrunched her nose up in disgust but smiled anyway. “Yeah. Caring. In her own weird Yellow Pearl way.”

~

It only took a few minutes for Pink Pearl to figure out how to wear a dress. It was the first article of human clothing she’d ever worn, and the only clothes she’d ever put  _ on _ herself. Everything from her various forms had just come naturally- since this was the first ball since Era 3 had begun and Pink had been… freed, she’d never been to any event quite like this one that required dressing up. She suspected that it would be much more free and casual than events of the past. Oh, how she didn’t miss standing beside her old Diamond, greeting each and every civilian, her arms aching from holding the Diamonds’ salute for so many hours.

She tore her mind away from the subject, and reminded herself where she was. She knew she wouldn’t again be stuck at a boring ball, silent and stiff in stature, like when she’d been under someone else’s power. She didn’t want that anyway.

This time, she just wanted to dance.

And of course, per Garnet’s advice, do one other thing.  _ Stars, give me courage. _

There was a knock on the door.

_ Speak of the Diamond. _ “Come in!” Pink shouted, smoothing out a few stray creases in her dress. Spinel couldn’t see her anything but perfect, or the whole night would be ruined.

Pink’s bedroom door creaked open slowly, and in poked Spinel’s face. One of Spinel’s hands came around to grip the edge of the door, and Pink Pearl noticed that this time it was clad in a slim white glove rather than a pink, oversized puffy one like the ones Spinel usually chose to wear. She thought they suited her.

“Hey, Spinel,” Pink greeted.

Spinel gave a weak smile and stepped into Pink’s room so her outfit was fully visible. “Hey- hey Pink, howyadoin?” she mumbled, clasping her hands together nervously.

_ Oh, stars, help me. _ Pink tore her gaze away from Spinel to avoid flustering any further.  _ Yellow and Blue were right. I’ve got it bad. _ “Good. You look great,” she said hurriedly. “I’m, um. Really impressed. Wow. A suit really… suits you. Ha ha.”

“Aw, Pearlie, you’re kiddin’,” Spinel mumbled, scratching the back of her head in embarrassment. 

Pink Pearl’s face heated up at the nickname. “Am not.”

“Well- I mean, you’re quite the looker yourself.”

“Oh?” Pink Pearl glanced down at her dress. She’d forgotten she was wearing it, and she suddenly felt much more vulnerable. “You really like it?”

“It’s perfect for dancing the night away in,” Spinel affirmed.

Pink Pearl gave a quick nod. “Yeah. Thanks. Really, I’m flattered!”

Spinel glanced fearfully around the room, fidgeting with the collar of her tuxedo. “Is it time to go yet?”

Pink glanced at her friend curiously.  _ You’re just nervous because you still don’t know how to dance, aren’t you? Oh, you poor thing.  _ “I guess we could leave now.”

“You want to?”

“It’d be better than standing around.”

“Okay.” Spinel took one last frantic glance around the room as if she expected a corrupted gem monster to leap from the shadows beneath the bed before stepping forward and taking Pink’s hand in her own. She kneeled slightly and, making Pink Pearl shiver, pressed her lips gently to the back of Pink’s hand before looking up at the Pearl with a skewed grin. “Is my lovely Pearl ready to begin the journey to my ball?” she asked suavely.

“Only if I am by the side of my dapper Spinel,” Pink giggled. Spinel was so  _ goofy. _ Pink loved that about her.

Spinel plastered another charming smile on her face. “Then off we go, my lovely Pearl. Off we go to the best night ever.”

~

Aside from Yellow and Blue Pearl’s wide-mouthed reactions to Spinel and Pink’s outfit- “You really went all out, didn’t you, Spinel?” Blue had exclaimed- the journey to the palace was very uneventful. Of course, they were hounded by the Diamonds once they arrived, but Pink Pearl had expected it, and judging by Spinel’s constant yawns as the Diamonds extolled Pink and Spinel’s appearances, she’d expected it too.

Once Spinel was seated on her new, shorter throne everything seemed to calm down. After a few minutes, she seemed bored, even. “You seem like you want the Diamonds to come back and bother you,” Pink Pearl teased from where she stood next to Spinel’s throne.

“Please. No,” Spinel grumbled. “I just wanna do somethin’. Something fun. Preferably.”

“Like greeting other gems?” Pink asked.

Spinel groaned. “No. That’s boring! I meant like, actually go party! That’s what I’m here for, isn’t it?”

Pink tilted her head. “Well,” she began. “I always had fun watching the Diamonds greet their gems. I could look at them and say- well she’s got a gem on her nose, that’s awfully inconvenient. Or- wow, her thumb is her gem. Imagine not being able to pick anything up.” She knew she was lying- really, who had fun gem-watching? Every gem here looked the same- but she was in the same place as Spinel, and longed for a closer, more intimate moment with the other pink gem. And also a good time to disclose certain details about her feelings. She trembled at the thought. 

She could ruin the best friendship she’d ever had tonight. 

She sure hoped Garnet’s future vision would be in her favor.

_ I cannot tell you what will happen when you tell her how you feel. There are multiple paths, each a flowing stream, breaking down into small rivulets that change time’s flow forever. You will know how to approach this situation when the time comes. But you must talk to her. _

_ When the time comes-  _ that had to be tonight, didn’t it?

Pink Pearl was distracted from her worries when the lights in the ballroom suddenly shut off. A flash of panic flooded through her, and she heard a squeal from Spinel. “Ah! What’s going on?”

_ This is just how balls are. I’ll never get used to that. _ “Just wait,” Pink whispered. 

The gigantic door on the other side of the ballroom opened slowly, allowing just enough light to filter through for Pink to see hundreds of silhouettes in the doorway. From several feet above Pink, White Diamond’s voice echoed through the ballroom. 

“Gems of all courts, welcome! Before we begin tonight, I regret to inform you that the Diamonds will not be available for personal greetings like at previous celebrations. We are holding this ball to honor one of Homeworld’s newest citizens, and I would like her to enjoy this night as much as possible. So please, dance and enjoy yourselves as well! Now without further ado… I’d like to welcome you to the Ball of Spinel, and the second ball of Era Three!”

As the lights went on and Gems began to pour in, Pink Pearl gulped. Without the long introductions, perhaps her confession would come sooner than she’d anticipated.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SO RUSHED AND AWFULLY PUT TOGETHER BUT I NEED TO SET UP FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER SORRY


	11. Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

From atop her small throne, Spinel watched gems pour into the ballroom by the hundreds. The dance floor quickly became a blur of color and motion as gems danced and mingled with one another. She saw a few of them turn their heads up to look at her, mouth something along the lines of  _ Is that the new gem? _ and then look away as if they didn’t want Spinel to see them. Spinel winced. She didn’t look… unpresentable, did she?

She looked away from the gathering throng of gems when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. It was Pink Pearl, gazing at her with one wide eye. Spinel was having a hard enough time controlling her own nervousness, but when she saw the fear that was displayed plainly on Pink’s face, she found it all the more difficult to ignore the anxious churning in her own stomach. Poor Pink was probably terrified to be in the same room as White Diamond for the first time in two years- so what could Spinel complain about? Regardless, she felt her nervousness multiply when she saw Pink’s vulnerability.

“Are we supposed to be down there?” Pink Pearl asked Spinel quietly, tilting her head at the gathering throng of gems on the floor.

Spinel hesiated. “Uh… I don’t know?” She hoped not, anyway. Staying here with her lovely Pearl was preferable to trying to navigate the busy dance floor.

“I guess the Diamonds aren’t down there,” Pink commented, “so maybe we aren’t supposed to be there either.”

“The Diamonds would crush everyone if they set foot down there,” Spinel pointed out. “But we’re tiny.”

“Still. If you’re a temporary Diamond, your job is to oversee. Not engage with others.”

Spinel’s shoulders slumped. “Thank the stars.”

Spinel’s relief was short-lived, however, when she heard a voice call out to her from a few feet above her throne. “Oh, Spinel! You don’t have to sit and do all the boring conversational stuff with us!”

Spinel tilted her head up and squinted at the Diamonds that were all now watching her with a well-meaning but intent stare.

“This is  _ your  _ ball. I want you to be able to go out there and dance!” White Diamond went on, smiling widely. 

Spinel sensed Pink Pearl flinch from beside her, and Spinel instinctively tensed up. “What if I wanna stay here?” she fired back.

“Spinel,” Pink Pearl whispered.

“I suppose it’s your call,” White Diamond said nonchalantly.

“ _ Spinel,”  _ Pink hissed again, more intensely this time.

Spinel turned back to Pink Pearl. “Yeah?”

Pink Pearl glanced between Spinel and White for a moment. “I don’t think I can do this,” she said quietly, to keep White Diamond out of earshot. “I need to ease into this whole… being close to White thing. I need to go. I’m sorry. I don’t want to freak out-”

“Then I guess that settles it!” Spinel yelled, throwing herself to her feet. She grabbed Pink Pearl’s wrist and marched the both of them onto the dance floor, quickly losing themselves in a horde of colors. Once Spinel was satisfied that someone sitting as high up as White wouldn’t be able to pick them out of a crowd, she stopped and faced Pink Pearl, steeling her hands on Pink’s waist. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are you okay?”

“I… I’ll be alright.”

Spinel ducked her head. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Bringing you somewhere you’d be uncomfortable.”

Pink tilted her head. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

“But White-”

“Shh.” Pink’s hand drifted up to Spinel’s cheek and cupped her face gently. “ She doesn’t matter. I’m more comfortable here with you  _ and  _ White then I ever was without either of you. I’ve been looking forward to this so much. I’ve been wanting to dance with you since we met, Spinel.”

Spinel’s face turned bright red and she looked away.  _ That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. _ “So you’re not scared?”

“I’m nervous,” Pink admitted. “Being around White makes me nervous. But being here with  _ you  _ makes me calm again.”

Spinel blinked. “Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?”

Pink dropped her hand. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, like…” Spinel lifted her arms and waved them around briefly. “Like I’m the solution to all your problems. Like I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“I’ve acted like that since I first talked to you,” Pink said simply.

“But why-”

“Shh.” Pink Pearl pressed a finger to Spinel’s lips. “This is my favorite song.”

Spinel quieted herself, listening to the music that was beginning to swell from the gem musicians on the stage at one end of the room. This song was slower than any that had played thus far in the evening, starting with a gentle melody of simulated strings and piano. Coupled with the soft lighting provided by the Aquamarines that fell over the room, the music made a soft sense of tranquility fall over Spinel, and a single thought materialized in her mind:  _ everything’s okay. _

“Like this.” Pink Pearl placed her hand on Spinel’s hip, and twined the fingers of her other hand through Spinel’s, moving their hands up so they were parallel with both gems’ shoulders. “Now you put your hand on my shoulder,” Pink Pearl instructed. Spinel nodded and obeyed.

“Is this okay?” Pink murmured.

Spinel smiled. “Of course. Besides, I did say I wanted to learn how to dance, didn’t I?”

“I’m surprised I’ve retained all this after so long,” Pink Pearl commented, and Spinel laughed quietly. “Now,” she went on, “I’ll lead- try to feel the rhythm and move your feet in time with mine.”

“Okay.” 

Spinel found that dancing with Pink Pearl was much easier than she’d expected. Her movements were smooth and matched Pink’s perfectly, and somehow, she didn’t trip at all. 

“You’re a natural,” Pink Pearl whispered in Spinel’s ear. A shiver ran up Spinel’s imaginary spine.

Spinel couldn’t keep a stupid grin off her face. “You really think so?”

“I sure do,” Pink affirmed. “Here, let me try something…” 

Pink Pearl let go of Spinel’s hand suddenly and twirled her around, but Spinel lost her balance and began to tumble backwards, letting out a short yelp of surprise. 

“Oh stars,” Spinel heard Pink mumble. Pink leaned forward and caught Spinel in a dip just before Spinel hit the ground, Pink’s arms placed firmly around the other gem’s back. Spinel suddenly found herself in a rather compromising position, staring up at Pink Pearl, their faces just inches away from each other.

“Are you okay?” Pink asked without moving.

“Y-yeah. I am.” Spinel could barely force words out.  _ Wowee. She’s prettier than all the stars in the sky.  _ Spinel realized she didn’t really want to move.  _ Steven was right. You’re a disaster, Spinel. _

Pink brought Spinel back to her feet, and then brought herself back into dancing position. “Sorry about that,” she laughed gently.

Spinel smiled, biting her lip with embarrassment. “It’s okay.”

The song began to move into the final chorus and Pink Pearl resumed the dance. She guided Spinel in gentle circles in silence, listening to the song’s instrumentation swelling and engulfing all the gems in the room. After once again being unable to ignore her proximity to Pink Pearl, and as the song’s final notes played, Spinel had a fleeting thought, but-  _ No. Steven wanted me to TALK to her. _

The two gems came to a standstill as the song ended and Spinel was again stuck inches away from the gem she was most likely in lo- the gem she liked a lot. She liked to imagine that Pink Pearl too seemed to be asking Spinel a silent question in her soft, mysterious gaze. 

The next seconds seemed to drag on forever as the two gems stood facing each other.

Perhaps it was the adrenaline, or the sheer carelessness about the consequences of her actions, or just the overwhelming amount of  _ feelings  _ Spinel wasn’t quite used to that made her shut her eyes and lean in, but she didn’t know, and she didn’t care. She was beyond surprised when she felt the soft skin of Pink Pearl’s hand grab Spinel’s chin and pull her closer. Or maybe she was dreaming.

When their lips met, a thousand tiny flames ignited in Spinel’s stomach, and she nearly reeled back from sheer surprise. But Pink Pearl didn’t seem keen on breaking apart anytime soon. Instead she moved even closer to Spinel, wrapping her free arm around Spinel’s waist.

Spinel couldn’t bother to ask herself why Pink Pearl was doing this. To ask herself why Pink Pearl was kissing her like the characters did in the cheesy human shows. She had never felt this much pure, unadulterated bliss.

When they finally broke apart, Pink Pearl’s face had turned pick as her hair. Spinel stared at her for a moment before she finally registered what had just happened. “Pink,” she blurted, unsure of what else to say.   
Pink Pearl’s eyes went wide. “Spinel, I’m so sorry-”

“What? No, that was me! That was me, I swear!” Spinel said hurriedly. “I’m so sorry. That was so dumb. Forget that ever happened. Ugh. I’m so stupid.” She turned an agitated circle, pulling on her sleeves. “Oh my stars. I’ve ruined everything.”

“Spinel, I think I need to talk to you about something.”

Spinel froze. “Okay, okay! Just say it! We can’t be friends anymore ‘cuz I just went and I- and I-”

“Spinel, that’s not it at all.” Pink Pearl went to grab Spinel’s hand, but Spinel flinched. “Sorry-”

“No, wait.” Spinel drooped and offered her hand to Pink Pearl again. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” Pink promised. She led Spinel out one of the side doors of the ballroom and leaned against a wall just outside, sliding down until she hit the floor, her dress pooling around her. Spinel sat down beside her more quietly.

“Look, Spinel,” Pink began. “I’ve been having these… feelings?” Spinel didn’t interrupt, so Pink Pearl went on. “I didn’t really understand them at first. I’d never felt anything quite like them before. I was so confused, so I went to Earth and asked Garnet about what they might be. You know, she’s the gem to go to if you’ve got feelings problems, huh... but anyway, she said that I was having these feelings because I was in love with you- well, Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl told me the same thing actually. I didn’t believe them. I didn’t  _ want  _ to believe them. I didn’t want something like that to complicate one of the only genuine friendships I’ve ever had in my life. Especially now when I’m still trying to get used to… myself.”

“I get that,” was all Spinel said.

“So Garnet said,  _ you need to talk to her, you’ve got to have a conversation with her. _ And I was going to do that tonight, but you kind of beat me to it.”

“Yeah.” Spinel looked down at the floor. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I don’t know if you noticed, but I kind of reciprocated.”

Spinel snorted. “Oh, I noticed all right. I just thought I was dreaming.”

“You’re not dreaming.” Pink Pearl squeezed Spinel’s hand. “This is very much real.”

“Well, that’s funny you went to Earth to talk to Garnet, ‘cuz… ‘cuz I went to Earth to talk to Steven about you, too. Not in a bad way. I was just kinda… confused. I didn’t want these stupid feelings either, really.”

Pink Pearl smiled slyly and nudged Spinel’s shoulder. “So  _ that’s  _ why you were there yesterday.”

Spinel nudged Pink Pearl back. “Maybe. That and I needed a suit.”

“Yeah.”

For a moment neither gem said anything. They stayed in silence, just taking in each other’s presence.

“So what do you wanna do now?” Pink Pearl asked after a bit.

Spinel squirmed a bit. “I dunno. What do you wanna do? Go back in and dance? Go grab some food?” She avoided the real question on purpose, but she knew that Pink Pearl hadn’t been referring to what they literally wanted to do right now.

“That’s not what I mean. You know what I mean. What do you want to do about… us? I mean… I guess if we’ve got reciprocated feelings, then…”

“But do you?” Spinel questioned.

Pink Pearl looked shocked. “What?”

“Do you really like me like that?” Spinel asked, her voice suddenly shaky. “I mean… it just doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t make sense?”

“That you’d like me!” Spinel threw her hands up into the air. “Me! I’m the worst! I nearly destroyed a whole planet! I’m gross, and needy, and clingy, and- and I’m just a real sorry excuse for a gem!”

“You are not any one of those things,” Pink Pearl soothed. She wrapped an arm around Spinel and drew Spinel closer, and Spinel buried her face in the soft fabric on Pink Pearl’s shoulder, letting out a sigh. “You’re the most incredible gem I know. Whenever you’re around I get all these crazy flutters in me that I didn’t even know were possible until now. Not to mention, you’re so funny and sweet- and the best confidant a Pearl could ask for. I love being your best friend, but I’ll be more than that if you let me.”

Spinel sniffed. “But what about me? What if I mess everything up? What if you get tired of me?”

“That’ll never happen,” Pink Pearl promised. “And if you’re ever scared, let me know, and I’ll cuddle your insecurities away. How about that?”

“That sounds pretty okay.” Spinel looked up at Pink Pearl and smiled.

“So what do you want to do?”

“I think,” Spinel decided, “that I would like to kiss you again.”

Pink Pearl laughed, a light, bubbly sound that made Spinel’s insides flip over. “I think I can make that happen,” she murmured. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Spinel’s lips, threading the fingers of one hand through Spinel’s messy hair.   
Relaxing into Pink Pearl’s touch, Spinel squeezed Pink Pearl’s other hand harder.

Oh, she realized, how she’d never hear the end of it once Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl found out.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the music that i imagined playing during their dance: https://youtu.be/RPDDJuSBkhM


	12. Author’s Note

With the release date of Future now out, and the trailer that came out a few days ago that already contradicts some info that was going to be in the story, Ive decided to end the fic here. For everyone who’s been following it, thanks so much for being with me in my first multichap fic journey <3 If you absolutely must know what was going to happen after this you can dm me on discord @nerdyrenegade#3511. I’ll continue to write for su once Future is released!

Again thank you for reading!

~nerdyrenegade


End file.
